The Oxymoronic Ramblings Of A Creative Entity

Song Saturday-It's been a long hard week and...Does Anyone Read Blogs Anymore?

2012-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Or maybe just not mine.

Actually I know you do you just don't comment. Is it because you have nothing to say? Or because you're thinking...hmmm?

Anyway, I noticed when I took my blog from social networking sites interaction on my blog-ishness dropped. I'm a little sad about that, I liked hearing from people and yet, the places I was before like Multiply, just became abandoned...ghost towns, castle gardens with aeolian harps.

"There is this thing that's like Talking except you don't Talk."- The Dresden Dolls

It's been a strange week. Winter finally set in which I love. I truly do it makes me feel warm and cozy. It makes me want to bake and cook and create. It makes me dream. Real dreams that must be saved for stories.

For some people it seems, it's harder and this week was like that. As soon as the rain started the phone did to and in my real time life I found my time consumed with people who needed things. Someone to talk to, a hand to grab so they wouldn't drown, sick people...all of that.

It's not that I mind. I just find it strange that just when I am feeling cheerful so many are not.

And it made me sad a bit.

I found myself shoring up my shoulders a lot this week which while great and good ended up wearing me down, it was unexpected, this outpouring of need.

Here's the thing...

I think people feel this way all or most of the time nowadays. It just seems like it's harder to get by. I find it hard to get by too.  A lot of people aren't ready to be in a world changing.

Do you remember your grandparents talking about the prices of things and "How things used to be." ? We may be the first generation that has experienced that in our own prime. Or maybe it's just noticeable to us because we are living it, I don't know....Maybe.

I was told a story of my Grandfather who when about 40 suffered some depression. He went into Lassen National Forrest for a month and explored. He took the family but everyday he left camp and while my Great-Grandmum looked after the family letting his wife, my Grandmum know it would be okay. He went into the forest to find himself again.

The kids, my mum and uncles remember this a great time, they played and explored too. My Grandmum who was one of the people who told me of it, was greatly afraid her husband would not come out of it. Hence the soothing of her mother-in-law. She knew, men ( and women too) need time in places that heal them.

He came out that summer healed and never was that bad again. He was pragmatic yes, but not depressed. He ever after looked, really looked for good things.

At least that's what I remember.

Now I tell all of this because I think we do not go out into the forest enough today. We do not take time for ourselves. We have veryvery IMPORTANT things to do! We think.

We have appointments, people need us, we cannot get away from our jobs because then how would things run? We have family obligations and community ones too.

All these things tend to fuck up our lives because we are going to blow. Bet on it. Usually we end up doing it in ways that are destructive to us and the ones we love. We cheat. Sexually yes, but not just that, we cheat each other and ourselves of time, money and each other.

We do all this and we don't take the necessary time to just care for ourselves. I didn't mention it but my Grandfather ran a ranch at the time. Ranches are just like all the other high pressure jobs out there, you need to be there, you need to do things on time to make a living.

Thankfully his Mum told him to stop, his brothers and hands could manage it.

Anyway whenever I see people struggling for hope, for joy, for release I think of that summer I wasn't alive for but heard so much about. It ultimately helped my family all move forward. Everyone got something good and precious out of it.

Take time when you are down.

Remember,  " There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance."-The Dresden Dolls

Don't be afraid .   Embrace what you need. Even if just for the length of a song. Just.....Sing.

Song Saturday-100 Years From Now

2012-01-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

Just loving the carnival-ish/ flapper flavour of this. Very cool to find something unique this saturday afternoon.

Enjoy.

SOPA and Bad Andy

2012-01-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

Right, so It's International Internet Blackout day or whatever. Subversify joined in with a lot of other sites that either blacked out completely or sent up a message of some sort showing support. What I noticed was there were more sites that had promised to join that did not in fact do so. Like Huffington Post blah blah blah, did you think major American outlets were really going to go black?

Kudos to Wired for going to the trouble and Wikipedia for at least blacking out the main page as well as giving info on where to go and who to write to in your state about your disgust. Also a thank you to The Guardian who technically doesn't matter because they are not in America but thanks for the leg-up Guardian!

The question really is: does our mutual disgust and protest matter? Probably not much. I wrote an obligatory letter to my Congressman who usually does exactly nothing but check the box the other Republitards tell him to. I write him all the damn time about everything and every single time get the same letter back saying basically "I know better than you."

But I wrote him again anyway, it's kinda my monthly exercise in futility here it is:

Mr. Herger,
I am aware that you are set for retirement and as you have done nothing but vote the party line for the entirety of your career I have no doubt that this plea will be ignored. Just as all other letters I have written to you have been ignored. Over the years I have received letters from your office which sounded rather like form letters designed to tell me one thing. "I hear you dear constituent. Other constituents have told me the same thing, however I know better than you." Which has only served to separate me from you and Washington further. See, I was taught representatives were meant to represent their constituents no matter what. Not decide what is best for the constituents. Yet you on so many occasions have decided to vote against the majority of your constituents on so very many issues.
Here is another opportunity however to hear something your constituents have to say.
SOPA and PIPA are bad for everyone. They would put the burden on website owners to police user-contributed material and call for the unnecessary blocking of entire sites. Small sites won't have sufficient resources to defend themselves. Big media companies may seek to cut off funding sources for their foreign competitors, even if copyright isn't being infringed. Foreign sites will be blacklisted, which means they won't show up in major search engines. SOPA and PIPA would build a framework for future restrictions and suppression. I have no doubt that this will extend to American sites as well as the foreign ones. Besides which why are we consistently extending our laws to make it okay to infringe on the laws of other countries?
In a world where it is difficult to do buisiness anymore without a website this would slow down the small owners that we supposedly want to prop up. It would continue the dwindling of the middle class, you know...the class that pays all the bills already with their taxes as they have none of the tax breaks of higher earners.
Congress says it's trying to protect the rights of copyright owners, but the "cure" that SOPA and PIPA represent is worse than the disease. SOPA and PIPA are not the answer. They are entirely too broad in their definition and they do nothing to actually correct the problem. In effect they create an extra problem of a new sort of criminality. Both Bills would fatally damage the free and open Internet.
I urge you to think before you vote about how it would affect American media, business and tax payers.

-signed me.

Okay, I signed my really real name actually because I really do give a shit even if he clearly doesn't.

I don't know if people really give a shit about Piracy-that scary word that conjures up either Capt. Jack Sparrow or Somalian teenagers depending on your view of pirates...

It seems like we don't we put pictures of ourselves up all over the place and provide permission-even if we don't read the fine print, it's there, check your google+ acct.- for people we don't know to download them.

We take other people's pictures all the time like this one:

Because we agree with what it says and privacy means we can't always contact you to give you credit. (To whom it may concert, I really really like this picture and completely agree with it, we need to not let ourselves be oppressed. Please Please don't be mad that I used it. You Rock!)

What's really at stake here is money. Cash flow to those who hold the purse strings which is why you won't see National Geographic blacked out today. Nor will you see the New York Times. They simply do not give a shit about the whole issue.

They also aren't whistleblowers. When was the last time you saw National Geographic blow the lid off corruption with their awesome glossy photos, they report after the fact. They give no commentary or context. They just have really really great narration and pictures....and pullout maps with time lines and stuff.

This SOPA/PIPA thing is designed to make it legal to go after the people who work with entities like Wikileaks, Anonymous, and others whose names you may not know like Cuentame which is where I pirated the above picture. ( again, thanks so much cuentame you Kick Ass! and sorry for pirating your photo)

It's also about having the ability to extradite people and ignore the laws of other nations. Something which I find very bad and very rude of we, the American people. It seems we really do want to rule the world and this past year 2011-2012 has been all about making up new laws that make us feel better about breaking the laws of other countries. You know like that act Obama just signed into law making it okay to call anyone a terrorist or a trouble maker or a Bad Andy therefore making it okeeydokey to swipe them from other countries without their permission.

This is Bad Andy by the way. Nobody ever knows what I'm talking about when I say "Bad Andy" suffice to say Bad Andy is a very bad....whatever he is....monkey?

Anyway. Is our protest today going to make a difference. I highly doubt it. Does it therefore matter if we do it or not? Yes.

Yes because it always matters I think if you believe in something to stand for it. If you don't you are a gutless spineless shell of a human who already belongs entirely to The Machine.

But that's just my opinion.

Song Saturday- Heroin

2012-01-14T20:51:00.000-08:00

No, not the heroic type, although I've no doubt that most people feel heroic...at least at first. Given the lyrics..."I feel like Jesus' son."

Anyway, I'm not really sure why I'm chosing this for the week. Especially a week just back. It used to be I didn't miss a Song Saturday. I've been flaking royally.

I'm not sorry about that. I've been busy doing other stuff. Stuff like walking the dog, going to farmer's market, cooking and eating good fresh food. Feeling really and truly blessed.

Really.

I've been watching, reading and listening to people who are unhappy, have nothing good to say about the future. Really and truly looking toward the end.

THE END.

Of course I'm not tripping through clouds. I am aware things are pretty bad. People are treating each other terribly. The U.S. and a good many other top-spot countries are looking an aweful lot like the third world countries we are so aftaid of. The ones we want to save. A lot of the time by force.

We have been spending too much time in other places and ignoring our own. Our very own hungry, homeless and downtrodden. Our prejudice has extended to everyone...especially poor people of every color. But also we now hate artists, writers, dreamers, those who don't slave in cubicles.

Even if we don't use the word "hate" we really do feel that way. "Get a Job!" is a phrase used more and more. We can't even concieve of others wanting to live and work on different schedules. It pisses off the masses.

I know all this.

And yet, I don't know...I feel hopeful really. I feel like we're at the point when maybe we can lance this huge national boil. Then the draining and healing can begin.

Is this even making sense? I don't know because it's late and I'm just using this blog as a free flowing exercise at this moment. So if you are reading it, you are getting my unfiltered thoughts.

Heroin, Get a Job, Boils Draining and Hope.

Anyhow this song was up on my Ipod today. I love it, mostly because it has so many takes. Actually if you have 'Peel Slowly and See" by Velvet Underground you know that the demo version has like eight takes.

Sometimes it takes a while to get things just so. Even if it doesn't sound (or seem or look) different to you. The dreamers have to tweak it out.

I'm hoping the Dreamers who are dreaming reconstruction are tweaking things out. I know I am. And I will not stop until it is just so.

Maybe everyone else should be thinking about more "takes" as well.

Song Saturday-Christmas Edition

2011-12-24T19:28:00.000-08:00

My all time favorite Christmas song. It really applies to anyone and everyone, whether you celebrate Chrstmas or not. Those times when you sit and remember wistfully or fondly the people in your lives. I hope you all are doing so with fond memories, but we all know there are the hard ones too. Embrace them. Love them too. Winter is a good time to do so. I hope all are well and enjoying their Holy-Day (s) /weekend. Love each other.

Song Saturday- Christmas Edition

2011-12-24T19:18:00.000-08:00

Feliz Navidad to Y'all Sharing with you my favorite Christmas of all time. See here's the important thing about this song, it applies to anyone, even those who aren't celebrating the Christ day. It's about life, love, love lost, love missed and celebrating. It's a Faerie Tale. Have a good weekend, wheresoever you are, whatsoever you believe,

Music Monday-Find out what idiotic music I like.

2011-12-05T13:10:00.001-08:00

Also find out what intelligent music I like. I'm complex, people.

So, I was dating this guy in the early 90's whose only apparent taste for music was Reggae and the obligatory Led Zepplin. (I have found nearly everyone likes at least one Zepplin song.)

Reggae is okay, don't get me wrong. But I cannot listen to Reggae for more than a couple of hours without grinding my teeth. It's just all the same, it mushes together in your head. For the record Dub-Step is worse...much....at least for me.

To his credit I did finally find some Coltrane in the back of his collection like he was embarrasedly hiding it.

When I asked him about going to a Billy Bragg concert he looked at me funny and said "That country guy?"

*sigh*

It was Irish country-when it was country, which is a whole different thing than Nashville country. Somehow the Irish get it better than Americans, who think they invented it. It kinda makes sense because Mountain Music which Country came from, came from mostly Scottish and Scots-Irish settlers...but I digress.

I didn't hold it against him as we all experiment musically. Like the year I liked RATT.

That's right, shitty hair band RATT. I think it was the "Round and Round" video that I really liked. I thought anyone who empoyed Milton Berle for a video and dressed like girls had to be on to something. They reminded me of Ed Wood. That was when I was 12 or somewhere thereabouts and didn't realize that bands like this didn't do their own videos.

Okay so RATT obviously sucked which I learned when I lifted it from Gemco. Yes, I was a theif then too, sorry to shatter your dreams of my lifelong integrity.

Fuck, I've lost the thread....

Okay so, The very first album I owned all my own was the soundtrack to Disney's Robin Hood.-Ooo-da-lali. I can still sing every song from that album. I'm tempted to go into what albums were but I won't look it up, in a dictionary or encyclopedia.

My second was Pete Seeger-Children's Concert @ Town Hall. I loved the hell out of that album and wore it straight out. Anyone still remember wearing an album out?

Anyway it set the stage for my extreme love of Folk music. Since then I have fallen in love with everything from Beatles to Punk to Rap and beyond. But I will always always listen in quiet awe and love to folk music.

The thing is folk music is music for the people. It is about everyday struggles big and small. From slave songs all the way up to music to fight the union busters. It is about telling the story and supporting the common people. It is not flashy, it is usually extremely simple but it is more than a story, it tells history.

Like Woody Guthrie- btw that same boyfriend when I brought Woody up, said "The guy who wrote that song we had to sing in school all the time?" Me: "You mean 'This Land Is Your Land?" Him "Is that what it's called?"

This boyfriend got a real musical education and still does. I decided to keep him after all that investment. Now he's amazed by all the prohibition era songs I know. I don't even know how I know these songs really, just do.

Back to Woody he set the stage for the real American Worker's Union fight back songs. He wasn't kidding when he wrote, "This machine Kills Fascists." on his guitar.

Which brings me back to Billy Bragg, who is today's Woody Guthrie I think. He has been backing strikes with his songs for some time now, when he isn't collecting almost forgotten or never before heard folk music.

Okay crap I'm really off thread. In anycase have a listen to Billy Bragg this year, supporting London Strikers.

Oh and stay to the end, There's several good songs in there.

Song Saturday-Indians and Aliens

2011-11-19T12:33:00.000-08:00

A pre-Thanksgiving Song sat.

Most all of you know I don't like Thanksgiving, The overindulgence in celebration of genocide, doesn't seem like much of a point. I'd much rather have a dinner party on say...March 17th...a day that means nothing to me other than maybe I want to share good times with people I care about.

But for those of you who do love getting together with family, I wish you well, I hope you cherish one another and please show love, put aside the drama and bad feelings for another day. Ideally we would do this anytime we are together.

Also every year I encourage boycotting Black Friday. It's a bunch of bullshite. The deals you are getting are not deals. In addition to my general disdain for this day, the Occupy folks are also asking you support the 99% by not shopping on Black Friday this year.

Go for a walk instead, cut out snowflakes, kiss your mate, your kids, your dog, feed the hungry, go on a busking tour, hug. Just don't shop.

An online magazine offering an alternative, subversive perspective to the mainstream media

2011-11-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

Link

Choco Willies- Safe for Your Pussy!

2011-10-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

That'll do Pig...That'll do.

2011-10-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

You've been Apple Jacked!

2011-10-31T07:11:00.000-07:00

Muahahahahahaha!

2011-10-29T06:37:00.000-07:00

Song Saturday-That's The Way That It Goes

2011-10-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

Song Saturday- Was surprised on the way home today by the sweet and soulful voice of Gillian Welch today. I love it and can't stop singing it, so I'm passing it on to you. Good weekend to you!

Song Saturday-Bye Bye Badman

2011-10-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. We have seen the people in the U.S. rise up a little bit, which all in all I think is a good thing.

There's been so much confusion about the protests popping up across our country. People showing up to one, think they are there in support of another...you know the usual. However I think we are beginning to learn something after these couple of weeks.

The protest tactics employed before are not as effective nowadays. The Powers That Be are content to let us 'sit in' who cares they think, they give us permits and we even have to clean up after ourselves. Which I'm not sure is a good or a bad thing. Cleaning up after yourself is courteous, and doesn't piss off the folks you are trying to help, but it doesn't raise any true problems.

This was exemplified in the Occupy D.C. 2011 protest that is still going on, they have a permit until Feb. 2012...W.D. Noble writes about it in Daily Dispatches at Subversify. You should go check those out there are good things happening there and also a big spotlight on what's missing.

What I think is missing is a disconnect between those who protested in the 60's and those who are just now finding their voice. And, they are very different voices by the way, it's going to be different. W.D. postulated we may need a Kent State. While I think that would certainly draw more news coverage, I don't think it's going to happen, we have easier tactics for controlling mobs at this point.

One of them is making it cost prohibitive to get there in the first place. Gas is expensive even if you pool, nobody picks up hitchhikers and you cannot jump a train anymore. Try it and you may end up in a terrorism investigation situation. If you think, "Ok, fine that's good, it'll get the word out." Remember Bradley Manning, and start to work on your meditation because you could be in a long silence.

The Occupy Wall St. movement I think is working better because so many of the people live near or around there. What needs to happen maybe is local orgainizing. It's not as easy as you think, even with event coverage when I went to check out my local one today there were 6 people (down from 50 last week) not including my group. Granted we are not a city but 80,000 seems like enough. The Dog walk-off down the street had a better turn out, maybe they were going to walk their dogs down there later...

Protest is going to look different in America. We are HUGE, we need to use that to our advantage, it's easy to contain a city, not so easy to contain them all.

Anyway, my song pick this week is all about protest. Bye Bye Badman was written by the Stone Roses about the 1968 French Student Riots. The lemons in the song by the way, refer to carrying lemons to combat tear gas.

Song Saturday-Dirty Sexy Kill Kill

2011-10-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

I know, it's technically not Saturday anymore where I am....but I have it on good authority that it is still Saturday in Alaska for a min or two.

Also I do realize that I have used this song before. If you have been following me you know I don't do this often, but I LOVE this band, this song AND Zombies...so there you have it.

Expect to see more, hopefully new themed music this month, my most favorite of months due to the fact it holds my favorite holiday.

Without further ado:

Seeking Submissions

2011-09-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

Subversify is gearing up for one of our favorite times of year, when the nights draw longer and stories are told by the hearth. We are looking for tales of ghosts, real and imagined, paranormal experiences, UFO's, and things that go bump in the night. Now's the time to submit your travel stories about that one creepy place you stayed in, or the dream you had right before a natural disaster.Have a unique way of celebrating Samhain/ Halloween/ All Hallows? Boycott it? Come and share. Even if you eventually explained the unexplainable, come and share your experience. Info on how to submit can be found at our "submit page" or leave us a note here.

http://subversify.com/submit/

Song Saturday- Unexpected Throw Downs...Maybe..

2011-09-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

Maybe because perhaps there are signs.

Okay, I'll admit it, today I allowed my ire to rise.

It came upon me unexpectedly. What I thought an honest misunderstanding led to all out war and truthfully, and I am telling the truth-would a ginger lie? I really didn't contribute that much to the conversation. I simply stood my ground.

I bring this up because it is a trend. People getting spitting mad just because someone they don't agree with stands their ground. The world is a troubled place, and men, women and children are feeling it in a whole new way.

Their future uncertain, they have more on their plate, less to fill the plates with and more plates to go around. One cannot fault others for taking their sadness, fear and aggression out. However, I am disappointingly seeing people who claim to love peace, follow the 8 fold path and have a conscious regard for all human beings flying off the handle at the slightest provocation.

What is this? Where are we when peace keepers cannot hold their tongues?

I certainly don't think peace keepers are less than human, nor do I expect them to eschew normal human needs and life. However when someone begins preaching to me be it altruism, Buddhism, Christianity or Atheism I expect them to show it in the context of that particular discourse.

We are seeing this outside of our individual relationships too. Our countries are giving with one hand while they pickpocket us like a cutpurse with the other.

Reports out of Great Britain are stating that the country is stockpiling food in order to make sure they can tame the masses if there is an uprising. Food. As if humans are on display in the Royal Zoo. Maybe they are. Maybe it's come to this that this is enough to keep us in our place.

Someone else brought up this week that nobody remembers the riots in Compton and Long Beach following the Rodney King verdict in 1992 ( paraphrasing). But I do. You know who else does? Governments. A lot was learned in 1992 like how to end a riot quickly and more effectively. You didn't see Tottenham burn did you? Yes there was looting, but people were arrested. All sorts of people, people who weren't even directly involved, just regular folks posting stuff they saw on the telly.

You had better believe that American government remembers it too. New York city is currently invoking an ancient law allowing them to arrest those who are wearing masks. They want none of this Guy Fawkes stuff to get out of hand. Also there was the Bart incident last month which had mixed results. The point is that the machine was and always has been learning how to control civilians.

Think the Batterrams utilized in South Central were just so Nancy Reagan and Police Chief Darrel Gates could see inside crack houses without getting shot? Think again. He would never have been allowed to use it if it weren't to test how civilians responded to it and make adjustment.

Be Aware.

Think Batterrams can't come to your suburban or rural neighborhood? Think again. Just give reason for it, like say an overzealous college party. Or maybe protesting at your congressman's office. San Francisco bought one in 2008, check your local law enforcement to see if you have a Batteram for your police force.

Just Think.

John Twelve Hawkes was the author of a Trilogy I love. It deals with this very loss of privacy, state control through computers and the government sending in very nasty people to test out the public. It was first published in 2004, when a lot of this technology was becoming known, we are seeing almost every scary evil bad guy thing in the book play out in front of us.

Anyway, we need to not be attacking one another. We need to protect the weak. Like Robin Hood. Everyone loves that guy right? Except maybe the Ghost of Prince John. But Robin Hood was not complacent, that didn't mean he didn't have pacifists in his group either. We need everyone for this fight and we need to put aside our differences in philosophy for what is right.

Or you can expect a Batterram.

Which is no joke, really. It's damn scary what the powers that be will do to their own.

The Writer's Desk

2011-09-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

Last week one of my friends and publishing partners posted that he was writing off of 2 T.V. dinner Trays-he had just moved. It was a funny picture but it got me thinking about our writing spaces, how they reflect our style and affect our writing. I imagine if I were writing off of T.V. dinner trays I would be cranky, I would get up more and be distracted, which is saying a lot I'm already distracted. Life tends to do that.

Thankfully he is no longer at the T.V. Trays. He has moved up in this world to an Armoir, which the mere sound makes you feel like you should be doing important things. Either that or hanging your clothes. At least that's what I think when I hear the word.

I know for myself, when I am away from home I always take my computer along, I plan to write about the day and definitely plan for inspiration. I can tell you those tiny tables they put in hotel rooms are not inspiring to me. They are so very utilitarian and, I don't know I just get restless, pull on my shoes and go out.

I'm also not a lap-writer. Who are these people anyway who write on their laps? One sees them in bed, on couches, sitting cross-legged with their laptop (which one can only assume was intended for laps from the name) writing away. I can't do it. My legs fall asleep, my arms are uncomfortable, I don't like electronics in my bed.

So I'm letting you in on a picture of where I write. It's my very own desk which is pictured at the top. It's not ideal, ideal would be sun room all to myself with my desk and laptop, but it's good enough for now. Let me break it down for you.

Of course there is the main tool of writing, the laptop, which as I said, I never use in my lap. They keys are worn, the 'n' is almost non-existent. I don't know why that should be...maybe I write 'no' a lot. My main screen right now has a modern day Little Red, not at all impressed by the Big Wolf. This is meant to remind me that I should be finishing my Little Red story. I got a little bummed when that movie came out last year... I still haven't seen it, I'm hoping it doesn't affect what I was writing. However I hardly see it, when I walk away for more than 3 min all my pictures slide show, which reminds me I should go through and remove some, there's some gruesome stuff on there that I collect for Subversify, nobody should have to look at that all the time. Somehow I never get around to that either.

My desk is a 1950's student desk, the kind one bought for their kids' rooms in the hopes they would do their homework. As it's pretty well preserved I'm guessing not a lot of homework got done. It is nice in that it has the 3 shelves on the right hand side. These are constantly stacked with books and there is reason to how I stack. On the very bottom are all the books I get at the library. In the middle are the books I am currently reading. As the desk sits right next to the bed I reach down to the bottom and rifle through what I want to read first and put those in the middle right where can grab them. As an insomniac I am often up reading at hours that has caused my mate to use a pretty silk face mask, that I'm pretty sure was designed for other uses...but that's another story. The top shelf is for research and notes.

To the left of my computer I have a salt lamp that is pretentious and supposedly puts negative ions in the air. I don't think it does enough of that, it's not as if it smells like a thunderstorm in here but it does have a little basin for essential oils which I use a lot. I like to smell things that put me in the mood of whatever I'm writing, A really very good company for this is BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LABS if you can dream a smell they probably have it. They are wonderful. But I also use it for calming me down for which I make my own secret recipes which require a lot of home alchemy, basically I use whatever smells good at the moment figuring that's what I must need.

In front of that you see a stack of paper. That stack is always there, the things may change but there is always something I am meant to do but am ignoring. When I get tired of ignoring it I put it in the front drawer. Then it's replaced by something else I'm meant to see to. I also keep a pad there for research notes. I know I can click and paste notes, but I don't I need to waste paper, it's one of my only non-green-earth-friendly things. If it makes anyone feel better, I do eventually shred them and they go into my garden. So my words feed something at every stage...does your computer do that? I didn't think so.

The front drawer is a treasure chest. It's full of old bills, things I was meant to take care of but didn't, addresses, stamps, teeth, change, broken jewelry, labels, tape measures and at this moment a book of epigrams on Men and Women and Love by Balzac. It's really like a child's treasure box, except for the bills bit, but every two months or so I go through the paper and if I haven't taken care of it by then I shred it and it too feeds my garden.

To the right I have practical things like hair clips in case my hair is bothering me. I've been growing it out so right now I also have a set of combs to sweep and pin it back with. There is a bottle of Exedrine for the long days of editing...kidding, I just have it because I get headaches anyway. Burt's Bees lip balm and mints for if I have to open the door to someone and I haven't yet gotten around to brushing, water and a lamp.

The other three drawers on my right, I have no idea what they hold. I know I put it there and it belongs to me, but really it could be anything, the Christmas present I forgot to send last year which you will get from me next year if I remember, maybe a key to something that I have forgotten, Perhaps an envelope with an address on it, which is why I keep asking for addresses even when you know you've given them to me. I simply open those drawers when I am desperate to get rid of something and have not yet decided if I want to be final about it. One of these days, maybe when I get that bigger sun room and a new desk I'll go through it.

Or maybe I'll leave it just as it is and put it in the attic for some future generation to rummage through.

Anyway, the writer's desk, it is a place that is more home and more telling than most of the house for the writer.

Tuesday Ramblings

2011-09-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Right, so it's been some time since I wrote anything just for me. So today I decided it was the day. I have exactly 40 min to myself whilst the ciabatta bread cooks so I am going to just ramble and see what comes of it.

As I'm sitting here my cell phone goes off, which I ignore and at the very same time I am grateful I chose the sci-fi scary theatre ring so it doesn't bother me. Funny that, how right when you sit down to get something done just for you someone will call, and it's never ever a fun call, it's usually somebody wanting something, most times these days it's your money, of which I have none.

Explaining this to people has been interesting lately. Some people, most in fact are quite understanding. So long as you're not nasty about it. They most likely owe people money too, people who are calling them right as they are on the phone with you...see how we are all interconnected like that?

Some people however have gotten terribly bitchy about collecting money. Trying to shame you like a school marm. This never worked in school, I don't see why they think it will work now. Mostly I just hang up on them and don't answer the phone for the rest of the day. What I think I have deduced is that some of the collection agencies give percentages on money collected. So I tell myself the bitchy ones are probably just like me as well, they just really really want that bonus.

That is not to say that I have a ton of money I owe, I really don't mostly it's student loans and frankly I am pissed at the whole student loan scam/industry et all. Jane Stillwater did a nice write up on it at subversify, you can read it HERE . I have been saying for years that in order to help stimulate economy we need to work out something better for our student loan holders. I have no idea why our government will bail out industries, banks, other countries but not their own people, the people who will someday be working for and leading it. Lately student loans have been moving into the territory of the housing loans scams. That isn't covered in the article. But it should be looked at. All of us with student loans are bound to be indentured servants if something isn't done.

With so much trouble being brewed up in the world I have been eversobusy at Subversify, and thankfully we have a new crop of writers who are excellent. If you haven't been through recently, please do go back and read some of the summer's articles. This week we touched a big nerve with an article on Ron Paul but shockingly a recent article on children being burned as witches on a regular basis didn't get as much shock and awe as I thought it deserved. Are we not shocked by torturing children? Can a child even be a Witch? Well Pentecostal Churches sponsored by Pentecostals right here in the U.S.A think they can and should be burned....alive. Read it.

But enough doom and gloom,, there is way too much of it our there. Really it has kept me from writing my fiction and I am very sorry to my fiction characters for allowing them to languish. I feel a pull towards writing just for them and have decided with the summer ending that I am am going to devote myself to that at least one day a week. Geez, I have 4 stories that are just sitting there...something simply must be done with them.

What I have been occupying myself with to keep my sanity is experimenting in the garden and the kitchen, which is where I came up with THE best way to use all of your cherry tomatoes.

Okay, anyone who has ever planted cherry tomatoes knows one plant will dominate your garden and if you have more than one, your friends and neighbors will stop answering their door because they are turning red from eating all your gifts. One day I had some jalepeno peppers that were about to go that I didn't want to waste and nothing else except cherry tomatoes so what I did was make the BEST KETCHUP EVER!!!

6 Jalepenos-really ripe
about 4 lbs of cherry tomatos
olive oil
4 cloves of garlic
kosher salt-(I feel like I have to say Kosher because some people just don't get it that regular salt only tastes salty, while larger crystal salt-kosher, sea salt, ect brings out flavor. It makes a difference, really.)

On a well oiled cookie sheet lay all of the ingredients out flat and salt with a good 4 finger pinch. Broil everything under high for about 5 min, when vegis are browning flip them over and broil the other side. - If you happen to have the BBQ going you could do this on the BBQ as well.

When everything is nice and browned and the tomatoes are smooshy and juicy and dead, put everything (juice included) into a food processor and blend until smooth. Add about a TBSP of olive oil for unguency.

After it is smooth strain it through a sieve or cheese cloth. You can use the meaty bits left over for tapas or in your meatloaf or with chips, whatever, don't waste it, it tastes good!

The rest is your ketchup and it is better than anything you will buy in a store because it is not sweetened with sugar, it has just the right amount of umami. I one of the things that made it so sucessful was the extra ripe jalepenos. If they had been just ripe they would have been too spicy and I would have had a hotter sauce on my hands, which is fine but not ketchup. These peppers had been on the counter for about a week.

I'm goint to try to make more and send it out as gifts this year. We'll see if it makes it because the Brownies decimated it the first day, they didn't care what they put it on, chips, toast, fingers, I had to beg them to save it for some home fries. This is all that's left of the huge batch I made.

Anyway, my 40 minutes are nearly up. I smell ciabatta and I am wondering how my blog became a cooking blog. I didn't mean for it to, but really that's what I've been doing a lot of lately, when I'm not editing. Maybe I can somehow combine the two and be a subversive cook....ideas? Seriously I'd welcome them because I am up for a cooking challenge. When I left home I could cook exactly nothing and now I'm at the garden to table stage. How can I make this food more subversive people?

Before I go though I wanted to talk a little bit about my feelings about the upcoming 2012 elections...If we get to have them...you know with the whole 2012 thing (dun...dun...dunnnnn!!!) I have always been a person who believed that exercising our right to cast our vote was important. After the last 12 years I'm beginning to change my mind. All jokes aside. I cannot see how the individual is able to make a difference. I have watched so many disenfranchised people try to start up new parties ( Ralph Nader-and truth be told he's no dummy) and others and they are always swept under the rug and laughed away. Or; Money, money changes everything. It really does. And the space between the haves and the have nots is getting wider. I would postulate that it may actually be worse at this point than it was in the great depression. The difference is that the 'powers that be' have figured that pacifying the masses makes everything less noticeable. I'm open to argument on that point.

What I'm getting to is I'm beginning to feel that if "the rest of us" just DON'T VOTE AT ALL, it will at least begin to become clear that we haven't for a long time had a say. Maybe just maybe that may wake some people up.

Let's call it PROJECT SPARTACUS.

If you must vote write in something like Spartacus....make the workers go through all the ballots, let them see there is something going on. And, like someone did in Iowa for Stephen Colbert, take a picture with your handy dandy cell phone. It's still (as of now) legal to do so, SHOW America and her "Parties" that you want something different.

Song Saturday- All about Joe

2011-08-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

"If you're out to get the honey, you don't go killin' all the bees!"~ Joe Strummer

This week, while channel surfing I happened on the gem "Joe Strummer-The Future Is Unwritten"

If you love music WATCH THIS MOVIE.

It was absolutely lovely to watch. Chock full of outakes from his life and the world that surrounded him as he grew into himself. Narrated mostly by Himself, it was also full of music that he loved, not just his own.

I was particularly touched by his post-Clash times and struggles. It reminded me of what most artists whether they be musicians, artists, writers or everyday people face.

-Here's something to remember: YOU ARE ALL ARTISTS. As Oscar Wilde wrote: "Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets."

Now, some of us have gloomy sonnets and others of us are mean with our sonnets, while still others are incredibly prolific. It doesn't matter if you have lived, you are art. (As well as the artist)

Joe Strummer found this truth. I was deeply touched by his closing words at the end of this movie. It boosted me. It put things in perspective a bit. I have a tendency to vacillate between hope and angry cynicism. I'm very sure I'm not the only one. However, it feels so very much better to be hopeful. I'm going to practice this more.

So today, you get a double shot. First, "Closing Remarks" and second, one of my favorite songs from late-life Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros; "Johnny Appleseed".

Keep your heads up, dive into the art of life. "Take Humanity Back; Without People you're nothing." ~ Joe Strummer.

Song Saturday- Clampdown

2011-08-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

Okay Song Saturday Listeneners, here's your chance to weigh in. The recent London riots? revolution or blatant theivery? And...why are innocent computer users being arrested for the riots? Hmm?

Song Saturday-Eve of Destruction

2011-08-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Seems pretty apt for today. On my Best of Johnny Thunder's album he asks the crowd, "You want electric or the hippie shit?" I opted for the hippie shit for y'all...Happy Song Saturday.Edit

Song Saturday-Exploding Plastic Inevitable

2011-08-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today Andy Warhol would have been 83, maybe it's a good thing he wasn't aroung longer or we would have had to watch in dismay as! he joined the ranks of celebrity plastic. In anycase, Happy Song Saturday

Song Saturday-Green World

2011-07-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

I know it's been some time, I have been out enjoying the summer, but this week, take a min and contemplate your "Green" world.

Lost Summers

2011-07-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

My grandparents used to take the family away for the summer to escape the sweltering heat of the Sacramento Valley. They rented every summer a house in Stinson Beach right across the road from the house where my Grandmother’s Father had always and continued to have a summer rental. I can remember listening to stories of these summers. The supposedly haunted house that was my Great-grandfather’s; where my Grandmother and her twin sister were assigned the attic room which scared them to death. The house probably wasn’t haunted, it was full of bats she said as a grown-up, but they had fun hiding under the sheets and listening for scrapings and creeks and groans.

My mother and her brothers too had fond memories of summers spent at the beach with cousins, outside eating, the fog that hung about for most of the day, swimming in the very cold ocean.

My Grandparents were never well off, but they were well enough. My Grandfather and his brothers had inherited a Ranch that produced mostly dried pink beans, corn and some tomatoes, which my grandmother asked for when she married my grandpa, and the other brother’s wives supported. There weren’t a lot of hands on the Ranch and every one of the six brothers worked hard to make a living for the families they supported who all lived on the ranch. And yet even still they could afford a beach rental for the women and the children to escape the heat in a time before air conditioning. The men of course had to stay and work and took shifts taking time off to go join the families.

Things have changed a lot. Although nowadays we probably make more than my Grandparents did during that time, there is no way we can afford a summer rental and very little anymore can we even afford to do “cheap travelling” like camping out, with a family.

With more and more families out of work and more businesses feeling the crunch of customers and clients not making payments it is not shocking to find that travel is down this summer. People very simply cannot afford the cost of food, travel and lodging away from home. And camping out is not much cheaper either with many popular state and national parks costing up to $40 a night to set up a tent.

As usually happens, the federal government found some reason during the summer to open up the national oil reserves and bring gas prices down 10-20 cents. However this year the lower gas incentives aren’t adding up to more people going away. As I look around I see more people staying in town over the summer and when I ask they say they just can’t afford it. The cost of keeping a family is eating up everything that would have been left over for a vacation.

So what are people doing instead?

A great push has been made by publications catering to mums, both thrifty or not for something they call the Staycation. The idea behind which is you stay at home and spend the money you may have spent on a trip on doing things in and around your area. The idea sounds exciting when you read about it and see pictures. Big puppy piles of family sleeping in one room, not doing dishes, going out to eat, going to local nearby parks…

On second thought that sounds pretty much like what we do on a regular day minus the cleanliness which I’m guessing would just stress a lot of moms out and drive them to the other room and their computer; back to business as usual.

Real people I’ve talked to say they are spending a lot of time doing the work around their places that they would normally be able to pay someone to do. Things like exterior painting and repairs, plumbing projects and replacing and maintaining appliances. Peppered with a couple of BBQs and that pretty much eats up their short summers.

Which is another reason why families are able to get away less. Summers are shorter. This is because of the new-ish thinking that downtime is bad for kids’ brains. TIME magazine did a piece on this recently; (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2005863,00.html#ixzz1RWU9tdzg) and many teachers and administrators are behind this idea, calling summer vacation antiquated and stating that up to 30% of the academic gains are lost. Increasingly summer time itself has been shortened, in many areas kids will head back to school at the beginning of August this year. A large teacher lobby has been behind this because teachers have been losing their raises due to budget cuts in many states. More time to them means more money.

I don’t agree with the fight against downtime. In fact kids need time to be industrious, imaginative. The problem has become television and electronics as a babysitter. This is simple to fix, turn it off and kids will find something to fill their time. Sure your toaster oven may be in bits on the counter by the end of the day, but $30-$50 for a toaster oven is cheaper than summer camp anyway.

Another thing families are beginning to notice is they are no longer “middle class” I see their toys for sale all over the place, the boats, the 4 wheelers…I spoke to a neighbor recently who lamented both and seemed genuinely confused as to how things got this way and what to do with the summer. I now see their kids spending a lot of time playing in the front sprinklers.

Which in and of itself is getting to be an expensive pastime out of reach. With drought conditions across a lot of the states and water service hikes a simple pleasure of playing in the sprinklers can cost you as much as a $30 increase in your water bill. This adds up when you take into account everything else people are paying for as cuts across the board are happening.

No it’s not an easy way to have a fun summer. It’s shorter, hotter, dryer and more expensive. The days of taking off on road trips to cooler places and even educational excursions are sadly behind us I fear and I mourn a bit for those lost summers I will never have on Stinson Beach.

Song Saturday-It's Too Late Because We're Dead

2011-07-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

Enjoying the weekend with some Slow Club who has a delicious, uncanny knack for making serious lyrics sound upbeat and light.

Enjoy.

4th of July Blog-Warning: Includes loose assosications.

2011-07-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

So it's the 4th of July here in America, Independence day. Day of 3 day weekends, BBQ's, county faires and blowing shit up, which where I live is decidedly illegal and that much more fun.

Anymore I feel like this is less of a holiday and just another day that disrupts my routine. The whole weekend is spent avoiding the freeway because that empties into both Costco and Walmart where the masses are loading up on masses of shit. I'm a little out of it because of it.

Also I live in possibly one of the hottest places in the U.S. It's a weird heat. I just got back from a road trip to the southwest where the temperature was exactly the same as it is here and it was infinitely more bearable. The heat here is strange, oppressive, not quite humid all the time but always thick. At House Rhuad we combat this by hunkering down as much as possible in the air conditioned house until Dark, when we come out and cavort in the garden and square. As a result we usually miss the early morning semi-cool hours, but that's okay, we own the night and really it is nice to be able to move freely through a town with a different sort of people, the night ones.

As I mentioned I just got off a road trip which took me to the southwest and the beginning of the Heartland. Well, not really but Utahians like to think they are the heartland, they really do. What I noticed most about Utah was the churches, water parks and shopping malls as far as eye could see and every other billboard with Glen Beck's pasty face on it. It was dizzying and strange. All this from the freeway. It looked like white heaven. Especially with the other billboard advertising white stuff from clothing to mayo and the myriad places of worship. And don't kid yourself, the water parks and shopping malls factor in as big here as the churches.

Maybe bigger, it's hard to tell.

Off the freeway it's a different story. There were more Mexican markets in Utah than I have seen since I was in San Diego last year. It was a strange contrast from a state that is avidly in accordance with Arizona's crazy immigration policies and busy drafting its own illegal alien bills.

However, Mexican markets aside, we were hard pressed to find any other world cuisines. Other than of course the watered down Americanized Chinese food, etc. We were there to visit our college student and I really did not believe that there was no falafel in the stores there ,as she had told me. But there wasn't . Now I have to send a box packed with falafel out there for her. There also was precious little Indian Food, the best food we found came wafting from the apartment in the motel we stayed in. Delicious scents only Indian grandmas can create. I was told they order spices online.

This is the land where the 4th of July was once more important than any other holiday. Christmas wasn't celebrated in Utah by the early settlers, only Independence Day and Pioneer Day which are in the same month. Maybe because it was warmer and easier to get together. Anyway it looked like the whole state was heading up to a big asses explosion of red white and blue. It was a little frantic, a little scary. It reminded me a tad of film I watched of Anthony Bourdain's cookouts in Greece where men sat around shooting guns in the air and eating at the same time. Big pieces of meat. It felt like that.

It's a different America there than what I grew up in and in truth what I am comfortable with. My childhood 4th of Julys were on Coronado Beach in San Diego, where bananas roasted in coals with caramelized sweet milk. Mexican polka played next to 70's rock and fireworks lit the sky while we watched surfers so brown it didn't matter what tribe they were from. Little children digging into welcoming family campfires from all nations. Fresh fruits sprinkled with chiles from Mexico and the middle east. I knew we were a melting pot. We tasted good, like a rich stew.

Middle-ish America 4th of July is cool whip compared to that. And I get the feeling that they want to spread their cool whip message everywhere.

I hate cool whip.

It isn't real, it's made in a lab of chemicals containing nothing of what real whip cream is, something divine and to be cherished, skimmed off the top. It's a fake, a pretender. And it's cheap easy and filling and like this fantasy of Americana it's spreading to everywhere near you.

It makes me sad.

Anyway. This 4th of July I intend to eat my way around the world. Kabobs for BBQ, ceviche, roasted bananas, jicama with chiles, fennel and oranges and if I have need of anything white, it will be real. Believe it.

I also intend to honor our forefathers by doing something they did. Something less than strictly legal. Mark the Sky.

A Real American Song Saturday

2011-07-02T12:59:00.000-07:00

A real American Song Saturday for you this 4th of July weekend. Yes YOU are America (Provided you live here) What are YOU going to do?

Song Saturday~Willing to fight.

2011-06-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

You gotta be willing to fight, sitting or standing...either way.

'cause I know the biggest crime
is just to throw up your hands
say
this has nothing to do with me
I just want to live as comfortably as I can'

A Father's Day Reminder

2011-06-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

I don't have a Father.

I sometimes tell people I sprung from the head of Zeus like Athena.

The truth is my mother never told me the same story twice about who he is or was. I have my theories about why, but in the end it doesn't matter.

So I appreciate good fathers. I really do.

I'll tell you a secret:

Good Dads very often bring a tear to my eyes. Good men are important and special.

And, I think you don't have to be an actual biological parent to be a good "Dad"

Sometimes the man who lives next door and helps you change your tire is filling that role, even though he has no kids of his own.

Sometimes the stranger who opens the door and helps you carry groceries so you can deal with a tired toddler is being a good "dad".

It's important

And for those Fathers out there who for whatever reason are feeling like they fucked up, or missed out or had their last chance.

Don't sit there on this day or any day for that matter.

There is always time, to be the right kind of Dad. To accept your children for who they are.

Who they REALLY are.

Get over yourself and your expectations. Be a good Parent. There's still time.

Song Saturday-Boycott Me

2011-06-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Look, there is a lot out there wrong with the world. You know it. I hear each and everyone of you bitching about something or another. So why oh why are you not activated? Do something.

Song Saturday-Society Makes Me Sad

2011-05-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I do realize it's monday. But people I was dancing near nekkid except for some glittery hot pants at my rapture party. Imagine my disappointment to see the same old Assholes here the next day...I'm sure some of you share my disappointment. I was going to share Johnny Thunder's version of Society Makes Me Sad, however this one was eversomuch more poignant and lovely. It is all encompassing, what do you think? >

Subversify Resurrects Before the Rapture

2011-05-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Link

Oh even the End Times can't stop Subversify!

Subversify Is Under Attack

2011-05-17T15:44:00.001-07:00

Like so many outlets that bring news subverting the status quo, Subversify itself is under attack. We need your help. Please donate $1 to whatever...all is appreciated! Help support media that eschews the mainstream muddle. Do it today!

Song Saturday-Friend to the Friendless

2011-05-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love Punk Cabaret...

Please to Enjoy: The World/Inferno Music Society

I'm not above drinking alone
but no good ever comes of it,
unless you count me talking to you now
So, have you been hurt?
Did you hurt someone?
Did you get all crashed down upon?
Me, I'm a friend to the friendless
not that I chose it and if I had
well then who knows?
But that one guy on the train
all talking to himself
ah, he's talking to me
He's saying
"At school they taught me a prayer for money,
a prayer for crap jobs right till I die
never a prayer for people, the brokenhearted
the lonely"

Did you let the blues make you bad
Did you get all twisted?
Did you get so drunk you whispered
"I think I'm gonna die?"
Did you pass nights wondering why you never saw it coming?
Nobody ever sees it coming, no exceptions at all
I'm a friend to the friendless and I don't care
If I had a choice in this it wouldn't be fair
but I don't so let's not get all carried away
with shit you wouldn't change anyway
let's make this a prayer for money
a prayer for Sundays through Mondays
and crap jobs right til I die.
Because where we are we won't always be
and shit man that could be me
getting hurt, hurting someone
getting all crashed down upon
burning holes in butterfly's wings
while wishing just wishing for other things
Nobody ever sees it coming, no exceptions at all
Nobody ever sees it coming, are you ready for this?
Never wear white socks with black shoes
Don't get all twisted
Don't let the blues make you bad
I know you miss him
Don't let your standards fall down with your hair
How it felt when you kissed her
Straighten your tie, tuck in your shirt
I'm a friend to the friendless
And I don't know why but come on kids, please,
we'll walk right on by
I know you are lonely, you'll always be
You are so many things you will not always be.

Song Saturday- Saving Us

2011-05-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

Big Big happenings this week. Evil doers somehow found (allegedly) and lost at sea. Does it matter?

Not in the least.

People are still losing their homes in America and unable to get affordable healthcare. Sooner or later we are going to see Repo Men being played out as we pay big buisiness to fix our insides.

The E.U. still had to bail out Spain this week and is looking at Greece, Portugal and reducing interest rates to Ireland.

Oh and our Republitards passed a bill through the House redefining rape. Good going guys, according to them incest and statutory rape is a-ok as long as fetuses aren't aborted. Obama says he will veto this if it passes the Senate but really he hasn't been keeping a lot of promises. Sounds to me a little like religious extremism in lawmaking anyway.

Just in case you were deluded into thinking the death of one man meant anything to what we are experiencing, I bring you a message from Serj:

Poor Wake Etiquette

2011-05-03T15:40:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I sat in sad wonder and watched exactly 6 minutes of news coverage showing Americans acting like asses in response to a death.

I had stayed with it that long because the news agency in question kept tempting me with promises to show the President's response to the death. I gave up though, I couldn't hack the typical dancing in the street fervor that looked exactly like this:

Oh no wait, wrong picture It looked like this:

You can see why I was confused right? But there's swords in the first one...

Anyway I'm Celtic and appreciate a good party at a wake and all that but even I can see that this was in pretty poor taste. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it battle etiquette to show some compassion and humility to you fallen foe? I believe the Mafia sends flowers to the families of those they whacked and keeps the partying private. And shouldn't someone have returned the body to the family? This wasn't exactly a head of state but it was America's ENEMY NUMBER ONE.

I am not however that surprised. It seems America is just itching for any excuse to party. In my own home town we had an actual PLAN OF ACTION announced 3 days running up to the big Big BIG-ASSED ALL OUT CELEBRATION OF- Cesar Chavez Day.

I kid you not. People were concerned about riots on Cesar Chavez day in my College town community. It seems Sombreros were being worn "inappropriately" -again,no joke, it was announced on the radio and written up in the College news paper. Other troublesome items of clothing were flojos, blankets and Sr. Frogs t-shirts. A collective sigh of relief went out when nothing out of the ordinary happened on March 31.

We really dodged that bullet.
And...

We are racist.

To think that people celebrating a man who organized migrant farmers could not pass up a chance to beat up a drunk person wearing an "inappropriate" Sombrero.

To be fair, they were also concerned that the holiday landed on a 5 day weekend for students. What they should have been more concerned about is the fact as a community we have robbed students of all of their traditional festival/party days by either scheduling them for when students are gone or making them disappear altogether. (the festival, not the students)

Americans, particularly working class and poverty stricken ones have no fun days. How can they really be expected to not come out for the wake of the new century and make fools of themselves when they have had civil rights stolen from them, not to mention their incomes, their dignity and actual holidays that make sense to party at. We need a reason to dance. I guess we in all our juvenile-ness got carried away. I'm not making excuses but really if we treated each other better, gave ourselves more down time we might actually grow up a tad.

Or not.

We will probably make it into a national holiday which will end up being celebrated only by college students eager to blow off steam after we take Cesar Chavez day away from them.

Song Sat- Working Class Hero

2011-04-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

A working class hero is something to be...find the place where you can be a hero and get busy.

Sanctuary

2011-04-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

They came to the shores, everyone of them
Journeymen, Pirates, Captains of Industry
But most importantly refugees.

These were the ones that gained access
Those seeking warmth, renewal, growth
Sanctuary

It really didn't matter to the land
What the reason was for the need
And yes sometimes the ones in need
The refugees,
Were the very same as the Pirates, The Carpet Baggers
The Mad

Immaculate Confection for Song Saturday

2011-04-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Jesus to Satisfy your Soul...When it's gone, you're done worshiping! Yay! Have a good Holiday Weekend.

I'm seriously jealous of Neil Gaiman

2011-04-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

And not because of the reasons you would think...

Yes, yes, he is an incredible writer but I kinda think he can't help that, some of us just have stories in us. Some of us like Neil have stories that other people feel they cannot live without. No it's not the writing gig. Although I respect you Neil for that.

No, it's not his Uber-Sexy Wife who I have a chic-crush on. (Okay, maybe just a little bit, Amanda is so veryvery yummy) But one cannot be jealous of another's wife doesn't it say that somewhere in the Olde Testament? Besides she looks a little too much like myself and macking down with a version of myself would only be fun for a few hundred times.

It's not because of his recent weight-loss-running regimen. He's a guy, they naturally lose weight faster, how can I begrudge him that.

No and it's not his tambourine skills, white German Shepards or honey bees.

I am jealous of Neil because he gets to be a part of this: the ReThink Music conference. Which looks to be incredible, making an album in 8 hours. It's going to be epic, it's going to be sexy and it's going to rock...and probably be silly too. Be sure to log into http://www.partyontheinternet.com and/or get a a getglue account asap if you love music innovation and the likes of Neil, Amanda and her pals like Damian Kulash (Ok Go)

In anycase. I am excited if slightly jealous, and really looking forward to seeing what comes out of this. Amanda Fucking Palmer has been pushing the Internet/music marriage to great success for some time now and this will most likely rock the house as well as change the way we look at all of our musical and media tools.

Rock On!

Okay, only slightly jealous now...

*see Amanda's blog for more accurate info HERE

Song Saturday-Bad Wine and Lemon Cake

2011-04-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

This is how my little life could be...

Song Saturday- Hound Dog

2011-03-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

Watched the movie 'Hound Dog' this week which was actually pretty good. A story about filling up emptyness so it doesn't hurt you or someone else. Anyway, it featured Big Mama singing. I love this eversomuch more than the Elvis version. Happy Song Saturday

Still Unpacking and More Updates

2011-03-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a trip to Monterey, Ca. Usually March is a most excellent month to visit this section of the northern California coast. It can be quite clear and warm and there are little to no tourists.

This year it was just surreal. When we were still packing the nuclear reactors in Japan were in full on melt down and while I expected some craziness in California I really wasn't prepared for the amount of shocked reactions from people who knew I was going away. There was genuine concern from my neighbor who I almost never talk to except when I'm going away so they can keep an eye on the house. "Aren't you afraid of radiation?" was the question. Ummm, aren't you? We only live 3 hours inland, do people really think if radiation levels are high enough to be concerned about in Monterey that we are going to escape it in Chico? I think that freaked them out a bit because I saw them heading down to CVS not too long after that, probably to buy iodine and duct tape.

Speaking of Iodine I read more than one article in which drug stores were running out of this 'precious' commodity in California. Which made me wonder what the other west coast states were doing, if they were reacting with the same level of crazy door slamming after the horse has left the barn. I was on vacation though and didn't care enough to look it up. I was also too busy listening to my new Ani De Franco Album purchase, which is what I generally do when something big happens. Step 1: assess what I can do. Step 2: Do everything I can do. Step 3: Keep calm and carry on.

We did actually get one very nice sunny day down on the coast. It had been our plan to day trip down to Big Sur and pay for a massage/soak pass at Esalen, I was really really glad I hadn't paid in advance because it turns out the road had crumbled into the sea sometime between 5 and 6pm the night before. Apparently it was just time, the road had had enough. People said they noticed cracks earlier in the day, which kinda begs the question, "Why didn't anyone report it?" Anyway it's going to be a while before they get that fixed and the 101 detour is long and a pain in the ass, so we spent the day in Carmel instead.

The rest of our trip was ruled by rain which gave us the excellent opportunity of checking out hole in the wall thrift shops and eateries. We were a half vegetarian group and while I have said it before I will repeat it. Lighthouse ave has everything you need in the way of eateries for the meat lovers and the vegetarians and you will not break the bank. If you want good food, stay away from the wharf. That touristy crap will cost you an arm and a leg and will taste just like every other chain restaurant in America.

Back from holiday I took to bed sick for two days, immensely grateful that I hadn't gotten sick away from home, there's nothing worse than being sick away from home, except maybe having to drive home sick...yeah that's a bit worse.

But I also returned to boxes of awesome from Black Phoenix Trading Post and Alchemy Lab. Boxes filled with serious scents like Black Tower, The Bow and Crown of Conquest, Doc Constantine's Medicine Show and Cthulhu. Cthulhu was really the only disappointment, while everything else smelled close to what I imagined I couldn't get my head around Cthulhu smelling exactly like fabric softener. I had also ordered a T-shirt from their Neil Gaiman collection, The Vampire Tarot and while they messed that order up by sending me their monthly special shirt, their customer service more than made up for it, a replacement was sent right away and I was told I could keep the "oops" shirt. I had a lovely couple of messages from whomever was handling shipping and really cannot speak more highly of their service and products. If you like scents you will fall in love here, merely reading the descriptions had me absorbed for the better part of a morning.

Aside from everything in my house now smelling excellent I am feeling a bit odd. The world is in an odd place isn't it? I'm terribly disappointed in our President whose promise of "Hope" has fizzled to something like "Suck it." I'm not understanding why he finds it necessary for us to be involved in Libya but not as involved as we could be in helping Japan which will be cleaning up for years to come and needing clean water and food for most of that time. Plus, it's winter there, it's flippin' snowing out and people are displaced. But I'm really not surprised I mean we still haven't taken care of our own mess in the Gulf of Mexico and Haiti is, well, exactly the same as it was before if not worse.

Which reminds me, a water walk is being hosted on Saturday by Bridging the Gap by Giving which I hope to be participating in, cheer me on! It's a good organization and has been doing a lot of good work around the globe, but has anyone noticed that water is the single most needed thing in all these areas of disaster? I fear small organizations like this just aren't going to be able to cover it all, which is why I am looking up plans for roman -style cisterns. Why aren't people planning to capture and use as much water as possible? I plan to begin digging up my yard this spring, hopefully I can get some decent stone masons in here to make the arches...offers?

Anyway. I'm still unpacking and probably will be for a while as there's work to be done, a lot of it.

Song Saturday-Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery

2011-03-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Waking up this morning to the news of reactors blowing on the island nation of Japan almost had me posting The Pixies' 'Wave of Mutilation' this morning. It also had me making remarks about Godzilla, I think it's probably too soon for that though.

However, I am a little bothered by trends I've been watching on line, in conversations on the streets, at coffeehouses in churches, etc. I'm hearing two things that are really troubling to me. They may not be troubling to you but let's find out.

1. End Times- There have always ALWAYS been people predicting the end. There was before the cult of Christ and there will be after. Somehow it comforts people. I think it does this in one of two ways. For some people it helps keep them in line. They may just barely have a reign on their moral reasoning and looking forward to some big finale keeps them "good" or whatever good is in their minds. For the second group its a reason to party, hell everything's going to shit, why not? Why not screw over my whole state. (I'm looking at you Gov. Walker) Why not keep Palestine in an 'Escape From New York' like lockdown? The end is coming damn it! I forgot a group, there are just the bat-shit crazies.

But really in the past couple of years every single swivving time a natural disaster occurs, out come the megaphones and the biblical and Mayan support "evidence" that the time is drawing nigh, get ye to a kirkyard baby!- P.S. I really think the Mayans just ran out of room and were bloody done and figured they could start a new calendar anytime, we do it every year after all. How were they to know they would be decimated?

I don't think earthquakes happen because God or Gods and Goddesses want us to run out and worship them more heartily. I think it's pretty well laid out scientifically how plate tectonics works. And I know God works in mysterious ways, blah blah blah... In the song I chose today Bob Marley states "Some say it's just a part of it. We've got to fulfill the book." What the shit? Why do you really believe that a loving parent would set up a disaster for us? Or is it just possible that man, or satan or whatever boogey man you believe in whispered in some overworked monk's ear as he was transcribing, "don't forget this part, it's going to make things a lot more interesting."

Think about this. If your parents were mean angry punishing assholes would you live in their house? Hell no, you'd hightail it outta there as soon as you could. Conversely if your parents are kind, loving and give direction with the ability to make your own choices wouldn't you come home for Christmas more? Of course. Why then worship and angry punishing parent-god?

It doesn't make sense.

But that's just me. And before anyone gets their panties in a was and starts calling me a god-less heathen-pagan, I'll let you know I am decidedly a heathen-pagan but god-less, no.

2. The other thing that has been bothering me is that in the same span of time-the past couple of years or so, the Atheists out there have been becoming as vehement and angry and persecuting as the religions they claim to hate. I have watched as numerous atheists call all believers in, well anything foolish, stupid, insipid, retarded, lovers of fairy tales. I am wondering how that is helpful to their own belief (or non-belief) system. If you have to name call, you should be looking inwards at why.

I'll just say it. Atheists you are getting ugly. Clean up your act, so we can take your arguments seriously again.

Anyway the song I chose today is Redemption Song. Why? Because we all need it from the Atheists to the Crazies. We need to cool it down, take a step back start thinking about what needs to be worried about, what can be done and work on the things we can. "Have no fear for atomic energy" or anything else because really it is us we need to be afraid of and that is something we can do something about.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery.

Song Saturday- Hows it Gonna End?

2011-03-05T11:53:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know it was announced that Tom Waits will be inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame along with Alice Cooper and some other people I don't care about that much. And while I'm on the topic of Alice Cooper why oh why do we only get to hear the same three songs from media outlets when they are talking about him. Can we have a song besides School's out, I'm 18 or Welcome to my Nightmare? Seriously.

Back to the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame...Who cares really, after all places like this basically mean you are the musical equivalent of a dinosaur and need to be preserved so uninformed children can learn about your life. I wonder how many musicians are actually lying about it being a "big honor" or more importantly how many are being honest? I mean if they are really just doing it all for the accolades then what is the point? Where is the art?

Anyway I love Tom Waits, there is dark truth in all of his music and his voice, well it just makes you have to listen. Even if you don't like his style, the gravel and grain and life ground into his voice makes you stop and say what's this all about?

So How's it Gonna End?

Movie Picks for the beginning of March

2011-03-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

Somebody asked me about movie suggestions so you all get ~~subjected~~ to hear about my picks.

At House Rhuad we are in early spring, what that means is one can never really tell from one day to the next unless they have psychic barometric abilities if it is going to be kick-ass picnic weather or you need to run out in the early morning hours and turn off the sprinklers. So we have had some really nice days for strolling and working in the garden and generally kicking back taking in the clouds. We have also in the same week had some cozy up to the fire days which posed a bit of a problem as my Cthulhu sweatshirt keeps getting stuck to the glass I now have a permanent imprint of the Dark Lord on my fireplace which is in a way ...kewl, and starts plenty of conversation. It looks like this only a lot melty-er

Anyway here's my two must see movie picks of the week. They were both surprises to me as nobody had recommended them and I had heard nothing about them

1. In Bruges- with Colin Farrell, Ralph Fiennes and a really under appreciated and excellent performance by Brenden Gleeson, a character actor best known for playing Mad Eye Moody in the Harry Potter franchise and a bunch of other supporting roles in which you probably didn't know who he was. I say under appreciated because Colin Farrell received a BAFTA award for his performance in this which all things considered, he deserved but Brenden was the heart of the movie in my opinion.

Basic synopsis- Hit men hiding out in Bruges awaiting next assignment. The story is dark comedy and a British to boot, so don't expect Fargo, but it has quite funny moments, watching hit-men site see in Bruges made me think of trying to get teens excited about visiting missions and haunted lighthouses.

2. My second recommendation is from Canada and is called One Week. If you're looking more along the lines of a feel-good movie without all the gooeyness this is it. It is about a young man who finds he has stage 4 cancer and his decision to re-write his life on a road trip. What I loved was it was realistic, no crazy love stories, no big-time glamour and glitz, just maybe what would happen to us if we decided to travel our countryside. While I'm on that topic I loved seeing the Canadian countryside and his stops at roadside attractions just made me smile, that's my big thing too.

It also raises the age old question "What would you do if you knew you were going to die." Which is always a good conversation starter so if it's date night, pop this in, have the convo and decide now whether or not to move on, no sense in wasting time because here is the secret: You are absolutely going to die, we all are.

Anyway I sincerely hope you have amazing outside time this weekend, but if you're on the fence about movies and haven't seen these give them a go and let me know what you think.

P.S. no idea why I can't get the highlighting off of Cthulhu, the Dark Lord must need recongnition

Movie Picks for the beginning of March

2011-03-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

Somebody asked me about movie suggestions so you all get ~~subjected~~ to hear about my picks.

See more here: http://grainnerhuad.blogspot.com/2011/03/movie-picks-for-beginning-of-march.html

Music Monday- The Unwelcome Guest

2011-02-28T13:07:00.000-08:00

So yes, I decided to stay home this weekend. And while I'm looking at pictures this morning of well groomed crowds out at state-capitols and large cities around the country in solidarity today I'm glad I did. We have a short attention span in America and really it looks like everyone wanted in on this latest photo op. I'm beginning to believe the words "The revolution will not be televised" are truer than ever because anyone doing anything to change in one direction or the other will be too busy to be on t.v. or any other sort of a camera. Busy, thinking, changing and doing. It's the changing part I think that people are missing though, we're getting pretty good at doing.

Anyhoo, anyone heard anything about Arizona lately? We have at Subversify. There was this article this week discussing Arizona House Bill 2582 http://subversify.com/2011/02/24/karma-arizonas-republitards/ come by and take a look. There's still work to be done and people are continuing to be marginalized.

It has me thinking, a revolution of any sort in our country is going to be a dicey and difficult thing to accomplish, our country is just too bloody big. There are too many states that can and will do too many different things. And just like any other county our military which the federal government relies upon to "keep the peace." is made up of citizens. The problem is they come from all over the country and their real, heartfelt allegiance is hard to figure. We saw this problem in the civil war when brother was pitted against brother and Union soldiers defected to the Confederacy and vice versa. How much bigger we have become since then. And how many different loyalties and separations are being born in the hearts of each person. It's hard to account for.

I don't think we'll see a revolution of the sort that we saw in Tunisia or Egypt which is why I think headlines like "Is Wisconsin our Egypt?" are just stupid. No it's not, it's our Wisconsin.

But it may be time to think about our country being smaller. Just maybe....

In anycase I spent Saturday walking the streets of my town, just getting out and seeing how people were feeling here. It had snowed a couple of days before and Saturday it was sunny if crisp, but the sun in the early spring always brings people out. Usually it brings smiles too. However not this Saturday. People were on-guard. There were glares, suspicious glances at street peddlers. Off handed cussing with families in the car by overworked and aggravated fathers. In our own neighborhood there has been a rash of burglaries and down the street there is a rumor that some guy in some car keeps trying to pick up kids from around the school. No real description is given, which to me is indicative of just fear. Fear produced by the ongoing parade of media and the very real problems around job loss and poverty.

Anyway when thinking about the unrest we have here, the inability to help our own, to elect officials who want to be helpful or even to recognise the good from the bad, I thought of this song, penned by Woody Guthrie and put to music by Billy Bragg and Wilco.

The Unwelcome Guest. -It may be that we need some outlaws just now, and not the kind from t.v., the real ones-

To the rich man's bright lodges

I ride in this wind

On my good horse, I call you

My shiny black Bess

To the playhouse of fortune

To take the bright silver

And gold you have taken

From somebody else

And as we go riding

In the damp foggy midnight

You snort, my good pony

And you give me your best

For you know and I know

Good horse 'mongst the rich ones

How oftimes we go there

An unwelcome guest

I never took food

From the widows and orphans

And never a hardworking man I oppressed

So take your pace easy

For home soon like lightning

We soon will be riding

My shiny black Bess

No fat rich man's pony

Can ever overtake you

And there's not a rider

From the east to the west

Could hold you a light

In this dark mist and midnight

When the potbellied thieves

Chase the unwelcome guest

I don't know, good horse

As we trot in this dark here

That robbing the rich

Is for worse or for best

They take it by stealing

And lying and gambling

And I take it my way

My shiny Black Bess

I treat horses good

And I'm friendly to strangers

I ride and your running

Makes my guns talk the best

And the rangers and deputies

Are hired by the rich man

To catch me and hang me

My shining black Bess

Yes, they'll catch me napping one day

And they'll kill me

And then I'll be gone

But that won't be my end

For my guns and my saddle

Will always be filled

By unwelcome travelers

And other brave men

And they'll take the money

And spread it out equal

Just like the Bible

And the prophets suggest

But men that go riding

To help these poor workers

The rich will cut down

Like an unwelcome guest

Planning for the Revolution

2011-02-25T14:09:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest blocks I am blaming for my lack of writing lately is overload. I know in some ways it's a cop-out I could after all be focusing on my ongoing and dust collecting collection of fantasy which actually screams at me from time to time.

And if your fantasy characters have never screamed at you, you must be a more focused writer than me, mine tend to knock me awake in the middle of the night and bid me to get out of my cocoon of warmth in order to tend to their stories. Honestly they are contributing to their own neglect by keeping me up at weird hours shivering at my desk, but that is besides the point. I COULD be writing them, they have not much to do with overload, but I'm not.

Much.

Instead I'm blaming overload. And I think it's a solid scape goat. Take for example the article I submitted last week on Bradley Manning. I thought I would do a quick update on what the fuck is going on with his case and quickly found myself down a swivving rabbit hole with no end in sight. There was just SO MUCH to cover. And that's just one story. Never mind that it led to me posting an erroneous picture of him that I had to retract. (Thank you very much couragetochange.org- and I'm not being snide, I mean it. Thank you.) It also brought to my attention numerous organizations that are trying to do good works and working against the tide like couragetochange.org. which if I had time I would love to ask more questions of. Especially given they had their Paypal acct. frozen, then unfrozen all within a 24hour period due to their diligence in getting the word out about abuses and the buckling behavior of Paypal.

Paypal is another place that deserves some investigation. Those online bankers who when they started seemed so Internet friendly but buckle so quickly to government pressures as well as other special interests. Who the hell is Paypal and what are they going to do with everyone's banking info...have you thought about that?

Then there's Wisconsin. I'm intrigued and confused and conflicted about the whole thing. I need to know more. And so do you really. We all do. Edward-Yemil Rosario did a nice little write up this week comparing the situation to bad porn at Subversify you should come by and read it. But lately I have not been impressed with unions. Nobody else I know is either. This stems from the fact that unions in California are doing exactly nothing that I can tell other than collecting undeserved money and giving out slightly discounted tickets to Disneyland. In fact when I asked someone if they wanted to go with me to Sacramento to cover the "let's show allegiance to Wisconsin demonstration" (I made name up, I'm sure there's an official name but I'm feeling lazy) I was told, "Hell no, fuck the unions, they have not answered any of my letters from the past 5 years."

I tried to explain this had nothing to do with unions here, but rather the fact that Wisconsin's governor is an ass. And maybe we should be supporting unions that DO want to do the right thing. Anyway I'm terribly unclear about the union involvement altogether, which in part is why I wanted to go. We'll see. I spent the last two weekends in Sacramento and I'm not sure I want to go down there again this weekend. And no it was nothing as exciting as covering or writing about anything. It was all about service. Community and individual.

Which I think is another hold up.

There is too much to do. Too many people need help just with fecking food. Hell, I carried 500lbs of beans back from the state capitol to feed the hungry. Are these hungry people going to be stopping work to support something in Wisconsin? Should they be? I don't know the answer to that. I really don't. I just feel grateful to not have to worry about where my meals are coming from and have an opportunity to give to others. I can't imagine what it's like to have to chose, do I strike now? Or hang on because my family is hungry.

And all this is just my little corner or the world. The bigger picture is we have growing unrest across the globe which is the harvest of the seeds we have planted. Really, we shouldn't be shocked, but we like a show so we get lots of shots of shocked and crying people. But why aren't we prepared for this?

Which in a way helps me with my dilemma...Maybe instead of marching on the state capitol of California,my time would be better spent at home, heading out to farmer's market with my $50 which is what gas would cost to get down there and making some soup and planning my garden. Because when all these marchers come home, whether they win the fight or not, they're going to need to eat. And someone has to plan for that. Might as well be me.

Song Saturday - Gotan Project

2011-02-18T21:18:00.000-08:00

It's not saturday here yet. I know that, I didn't lose track of days. (this week)

However I shall be super busy tomorrow and right now I am just perusing music...and gathering stories, and dreaming.

Which brought me to this song, which is like a dream...

What do you think?

AIDS ad a Fail

2011-02-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

So I really wasn't thinking about sex today, now I'm going to have to use my new ap that the Vatican okayed to say some hail marys or whatever...maybe some flogging....

Damn it! No the flogging definitely will send me back to the phone ap for more repentance...Now I see how that works. Smart Catholics!

Anyway what I'm really doing today is searching about for subversive businesses, history, ads things like that for an upcoming article. -BTW if you have any favorite subversives let me know I will be happy to have a look at them.

In any case I came across this french ad which I think was meant to illustrate how dangerous sex can be. Why am I left feeling like danger may be just what the doctor ordered? Is it me?

It is isn't it?

Damn it! Where's my phone?

Song Saturday, Sephardi Music-The story of Judith

2011-02-05T21:08:00.000-08:00

This song Saturday I was inspired by my interview with Clara Engel to revisit sephardi music. This song also connected with a quote I came across today "Men are natural warriors but a woman in battle is truly bloodthirsty"-old Scottish saying. Anyway enjoy the biblical story of Judith set to song.

Song Saturday-Clara Engel

2011-01-29T18:09:00.000-08:00

This song saturday I bring you a lovely beautiful and ginger haired (I love my fellow gingers!) Singer Songwriter. Clara Engel native of Canada came to my attention through our own mutual love of Sxip Shirey. I told y'all I find the best unknown artists through him! I am loving her work and her art. Look her up at Bandcamp http://claraengel.bandcamp.com

No Longer Adult Content

2011-01-28T15:40:00.000-08:00

Okay so some of you have been gently complaining about my adult content warning. Not that I mind complaining, it actually fuels my creativity. Also, complaining is a favorite hobby of my own.

But I can see how the Adult Content warning could be a problem. When I first opened this page I was putting a good deal more erotica on it. It's not there anymore, I took it down long ago, so don't bother looking... But also I felt like in many ways this was a site for adult conversations, where we could come to say whatever we please in whatsoever language we please. I am not offended by so called foul language (usually) and I really didn't feel like dealing with crybabies. I had thought of the adult warning as a stop and think sign.

But really it's no longer useful. Plus it's a huge pain in the ass when I'm using my cell phone to access the site and I really don't want to cause myself a pain in the ass.

I also don't want to drive away the Pentecostals, Baptists and Mormons who may want to join in and rail at me. I really enjoy when they take it to me, or try to. Because I'm all about learning and conversation.

So this is an announcement and a sort of warning. The adult warning is down. But please don't think that makes this a rainbow-brite place. I want honest discussions, with plenty of nastiness.

Okay?

On Riots

2011-01-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

Last week Egyptians interviewed on the streets and in coffee houses by the BBC stated they couldn't be bothered to riot.

This was in response to the recent riots and eventual presidential "stepping down" in Tunisia. Answers from men from young to old ranged from "I can't be bothered." to "Why would I riot when I can afford to maintain my standard of living and my children are in college."

Clearly the BBC was conducting its interviews in the wrong sorts of places as we now see Cairo is in flames and the economic dirty laundry of Egypt is being flown for all to see.

What I don't get in all of this is where we, the United States get off having anything to say about it. U.S. secretary of state Hilary Clinton said "We believe strongly that the Egyptian government has an important opportunity at this moment to implement political, economic and social reforms to respond to the legitimate needs and interest of the Egyptian people."

WTF Hilary? Really? As an American why are you not speaking up on behalf of us? And when the American people finally do riot are you going to be helpful to them or are you going to be sitting in your swanky office sipping tea and yelling "let them eat cake!" ?

But beyond that, we have no, absolutely no business sticking our nose in Egyptian politics, riots or not. The riots are happening because they NEED to happen.

Honestly riots happen because people aren't heard. It would help to stop future riots if we listened and listened in the right places to the people who are most affected by societal inequalities.

"A riot at bottom is the language of the unheard." -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Do you hear me? I mean it.

I'm Sick...or Working on Gender Equality...or Both

2011-01-27T16:51:00.001-08:00

So I've been sick this week. Like stuck in bed sick. It's a good thing I used that tax return I got ten years ago, (the last time I got one) to buy a Tempurpedic bed or I would never have made it.

Okay I would have made it, but it sure did come in comfortably handy, and it's not the only time, it also helped a lot two summers ago when I spent the summer in bed because I cut my tendon with a pair of garden shears and the dumb-assed doctor botched the surgery the first time through...or at least he botched the instructions to me, telling me I could walk when clearly walking caused the tendon to break. And by the way a snapping tendon hurts like a bitch. Just sayin....I have never actually passed out from pain before and snapping tendons did the trick. Passed right the fuck out!

Anyhoo. I was sick this week, but comfortable in my squishy bed of foam and other man-made materials. It didn't escape my notice that there were a lot of other people sick as well, like nearly every writer I know and a good many artists...coincidence? Who the hell knows?

I did however get a lot of t.v. watching done. I submitted myself to trying to watch Larry Sanders because A. It was the only thing on besides The Joan and Melissa Rivers show and B. The Late Mitchell Warren was waxing poetic about it. I wanted to see if somehow I had missed something.

Turns out no, I still hate Larry Sanders.

I got no writing done. My head swam dizzily everytime I attempted to think and/or type so I gave up. I also gave up on my healthy eating and excersising. There were several factors that went into this. One was Carrie Fisher gave me the creeps with her new Jenny Craig commercial. It made me never ever want to diet. Another was a long-hike preceded me getting sick. You know how when you throw up something it puts you off of that food forever even if it had nothing to do with that food? Yeah? Well I think hiking is out for a while. I may have to go to hiking therapy to overcome this fear that it will make me ill. And finally, I can't eat vegtables when I'm sick. I really can't eat much of anything except potato soup and bananas foster ice cream which is what I've been eating for the last 3 days. I think Safeway even made extra pots of potato soup in anticipation of me sending the Brownies down there for my daily pick-up. One day they had to go back because there was only chicken-ish soup, so I sent them down there to be ready for the fresh pot.

Oh yeah, the gender equality thing, I almost forgot. So you know how they say that men are bigger babies about being ill. I set out to attack that myth by being the biggest sick baby ever. I think I did a pretty good job. I whined about my aches and pains. I cried for the exact foods I wanted. I generally gave everyone a hard time...I'm just doing my bit to get rid of gender stereotypes around illness...pass it on.

Being sick is boring. That's what got me out of bed today. You would think having nothing to do but laze about watching movies and eating soup would be a delight and don't get me wrong, it is, but one gets to the point where they run out of good movies and they have run through the secret stash of porn and then what is there to do in bed? Knit?

No thanks.

So I got up today, I dusted off the computer and set out to write something, anything to blaze the cobwebs made up of soup, ice cream and porn and try to get some real work done.

Mission accomplished.

Now I'm going back to bed.

A Word About A Word

2011-01-19T11:00:00.000-08:00

NAZI

Is the word in question.

I recently wrote an article which you can read HERE about the discord I experienced between a pharmacist and a doctor. However, it's not the article I am concerned with today it's some of the responses.

The name Nazi really tipped the scale for some of the people commenting. It made the difference I think between being somewhat reasonable and deteriorating into emotive name calling.

I get it, Nazi is not a nice thing to call someone. And, just to be clear I did not call anyone that. (In this article anyway, I have called people that before and they can just suck it, Nazi-pigs that they are.)

What I and others noticed however is that there seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding about what a Nazi is.

One commenter pointed out that the word Nazi is derived from the National Socialist Party, which is the party Hitler ran and won with post depression. Hitler Supporters were therefore Nazis. However we all are aware that the socialism did not extend beyond Hitlers supporters and in later years not even to them. By the time we entered WWII Nazi was a generally agreed upon term for those who followed and fought for Hitler's regime.

We also all agree that we don't like Nazis, unless you are a Nazi in which case I assume you like yourself and your friends.

The problem is spin doctors and media voodoo practitioners like Glen Beck have been getting on t.v. nightly and telling people that NAZI=Socialism therefore Socialism is bad.

An interesting outcome of pundits like Glen Beck is that I can almost see commenters, bloggers and people I have discussions with working out blackboard scenarios in their minds. For example:
Nazi=National Socialist Party=Socialism=enough for everyone=this conversation is about medicine=Obama wants to help get everyone medicine= Obama is a socialist=writer must be both a socialist and an "Obama-tron". (that's one of the names thrown out there in the the discussion)

There has been a shift in which everything is becoming politicized whether or not it was intended to be should have been or is in anyway relevant. A discussion about Dr./patient/pharmacist relationships really shouldn't have been political, however because of the way words like Nazi are being bastardized and thanks to Glen Beck's magick chalkboard, now as Lewis Black pointed out everything is a 6 degrees of separation game and somehow it all comes back to politics.

And of course Nazis and Socialism.

Look Nazi is a strong word. It shouldn't be used lightly in public and ideally one should know what the hell they are talking about when using it. However I stood behind my quote because, A. It was a quote that illustrated frustration. B. It was appropriate because it had to do with controlling behavior to the detriment of an individual. C. It was a bloody quote!

Announcing Grainne's Subversify World Re-location Tour! 20-teens!

2011-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

I came back from the holidays to find that my health care provider Blue Shield has decided to ramp up the prices in my state 50%. It's not that I don't know that they are greedy bastards, it's just that they just increased it 50% with my Patron's insurance plan 50% last month. Since I do not want a new Patron I have decided to look for a new location.

I would also like to blame, erm, I mean give credit to longtime pal MadMollyMillions who has been egging me on for almost a decade now to relocate to Great Britain and even sends me nice links of job sites.

I figure this is going to take some time so I have allotted the entire decade to this search and yes I am committed. I will even be making World Re-location T-shirts which you can buy at our Subversify Web-store. Or if you are lucky enough to host my search for the most perfect place on earth to write with a Patron in tow and a gang of Brownies who will most likely be grumpy about re-locating, then you will get free t-shirt swag!

So this is my plan, I am going to start by visiting all the spots where my cohorts and writing partners already live. Don't worry I won't be writing anything bad about you unless you are veryvery bad host/hostess' in which case expect the worst.

No, really I just want to get a picture of the wide places people live and work and why they hang on there. People don't have to know I'm there if they don't want to. (just leave some warm cuppa by the couch and the bathroom light on so I can find my way)

I kid.

This sprung from my flippant remark that #in2011Iplanto show up in Alaska and Gloucester. And really I found that I want to. I have lived in California all my life and while I have travelled the western U.S. pretty extensively I have never been anywhere further east than Denver, I've never been to the American South, I've never been to the birthplace of my country-And yes Rich that does mean I am coming there, prepare.

Also I don't fly, I'm a big scaredy cat about it and really that needs to be fixed so that's another bit in this decision.

I will be writing about it, the places I go, the people I meet, the religions that try to get me to join up. And I do want to know if I want to relocate because to be honest I love California, but what do I know? Also our economy is in the shitter and the only thing really keeping me here is the employment gig, but there may be something out there...

Okay that sounded really "That Girl"-ish so there is definitely something out there but I don't know what's for me and us. I'm shy by nature. I am the one sitting in the crowd taking it in who you avoid because you think I look familiar and I know something about you or I am figuring something out about you. Which I am, it's my hobby which got worse in college when I discovered investigative psychology, but it helps me write.

It does not always help me interact with people, so I want to see how that changes as I move far out of places I have known.

I have a tentative list beginning as stated before with Alaska and Gloucester but also including:

Philadelphia, PA
Waterbury, Conn
Alberta, CANADA
B.C, CANADA-Okay I've already been there but I have to visit my second cousin anyway
Victoria,CANADA
Florida-undecided
New Orleans, LA
Puerto Rico
New Braunfels, TX
Santa Fe, NM
Phoenix, AZ
Portland, OR
The Sound Area of Washington State

Okay that's a start I'm sure places will be added, most places we have had contributors at Subversify from. There are other places I want to go but it will require more planning like Australia where one of my very favorite one-time contributor is from and New Zealand, and also India which I would love to visit and which may be do-able as we do have friends who have a family home there. But that may not make it in the decade-goal because...

This is going to be like a mix between a pub-crawl and a couch crash which as I'm writing this I realize go hand in hand anyway. It is going to be the anti-thesis of glamorous as it is the penny-tour. The sex drug and rock and roll bits of the trip will have to be cut out except for the rock and roll part. The sex and drugs are just out of my budget.

If anyone has great ideas of not-to-be missed cities/towns/areas/mountain tops for relocation let me know and I will try to add them in. Here are my requirements:

-There must be Internet/satellite connection in at least one pub or coffee shop in town.
-There must be someplace other than Walmart to shop
-People cannot be waiting there with effigies of me to burn...Okay, I'll drive by and get pictures of these places because an effigy of me is pretty classy, but really I can't re-locate there.
- Oh and jobs for Social Workers because yeah, we gotta pay the bills still.

Okay those are my preliminary plans, I am kicking this bitch off this year because really it's time to deliver on promises to visit and check places out anyway.

Song Saturday-Not Every Pain Hurts

2011-01-08T17:45:00.001-08:00

I was disconnected from the internet, news and entertainment most of the day, I spent the morning in musical rehearsals and napped the afternoon away.

So I missed the news that a gunman attacked a Congresswoman, judge and others in Arizona today killing what is the count now? 5? I would like to say I'm surprised but I'm not really. Things are getting that crazy around here. I knew it was coming to this and it will probably only get worse. It probably didn't help that Sarah Palin had a target map on her site showing people those she though needed to be "dealt with"

The initial reports say officials are talking about electee's drawing back from their constituents, protecting themselves more. I can certainly understand that knee jerk reaction. I would be afraid for my family members and friends and loved ones too. I understand having concern for government workings going smoothly.

However I truly hope they don't pull back. That would be a tragic mistake. What we need more than ever is to be in the trenches. To not succumb to threats real and imagined. We need our elected officials to be brave. Do they not understand the word sacrifice? This is what they get the perks for...the dangers of serving. And we need brave people.

Anyway. when I woke this morning I had a flippant tune about pubic hair on my mind, mostly because it's catchy and also Becca's Amanda Herself just married Neil Himself and what better way to celebrate their nuptials than to play a song by Amanda all about pubic hair? But now I will save it for later.

Instead I was listening to various Requiems and came across this little gem which just clicked, I don't know why...it's not my normal listening style but, not every pain hurts, or has to hurt. Some should galvanize us.

The Switch

2011-01-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

Switching gears to this new-er blog-ish place is interesting because although I have thoughts that would normally go in blog form for some reason I never remember to come over here. This home, rental, flat, hide-away has been at the edges of my experience for so long, I really only used to post poetry, or private experiments over here.

However things are changing. I am kind of liking the solitude of this place where I am not immediately linked to so many souls and yet people can find me if they please...

So be patient. I will be blogging more, I promise.

The promise is mostly to myself anyway. I am out of practice, working on the 'zine at SUBVERSIFY for the past couple of years has changed my perspective. I scan the news, I listen to what people are saying EVERYWHERE (and yes that means you so watch what you say) and my sociological mind is stronger. I'm always looking for connections.

But I am weak on dreamwriting, on fantasy, on whimsy and I find that I'm not liking that so much.

I realized this as I sat down to write about the ongoing tales of the Tooth-Faerie of our house: Princess Nootsie-Pah. She makes regular visits complete with stories whensoever teeth fall out of heads around here and the last couple of entries were harder than normal which led me to believe I have to daydream more. And, more importantly write about it. Because if I don't who will tell her story?

Also I have a pesky Egyptian Goddess who is constantly reminding me that I promised to tell her story and she is the Goddess of poisonous things so one really doesn't want to ignore her. All kinds of bad things can happen then.

So I will I promise, try to remember this spot more. The other places, like multiply are looking like a marketplace/ghost town anyway. It's no longer comfortable to be there and who in the world knows what will happen when Goldman/Sachs takes over Facebook (if) (probably) it's interesting isn't it just when we all find a comfortable community to gather and share some big-wigs swoop in to make their dimes there? I guess it's the way of things and really it's probably not that bad for all of us to keep moving, being vagabond writers. Keeps us on our toes.

Anyway....until next time when maybe, just maybe I will have something of substance to say.

Walking the Fences 2011

2011-01-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have spoken of this before in other blog-ish places. In the time between the olde year and the new year I do not make resolutions, promises or drunken proclamations. (mostly because I don't drink, I'm sure if I did I would make manymany drunken proclamations) Instead I engage in a practice that I call Walking the Fences. People of agricultural backgrounds will recognize right away what I mean. Fences need to be maintained. Holes get into them, animals knock them over, thieves cut the wires.

For my purposes my esoteric fences are not necessarily to keep anything out or in. But rather, to define what it is I am. What my boundaries are. What I need to care for. My fence, much like a barbed wire one is well defended. And yet easy to see through, it allows me to show concern for others outside of it while keeping the sensitive me safe. Also there are places where I have built stiles in strategic places where people can step over and so can I.

So for the last few days I have been doing this, walking, checking, seeing if all is safely gathered in. Also if there are places I need to fix and in some cases expand.

This year was an interesting year. It was despite the external turmoil in the world and indeed in my community a pretty mellow year for me personally. I was busy in the extreme, seeing grown children off to college and navigating that, dialing down spending to make adjustments for changes, etc. However everything seemed to flow pretty smoothly, in its own crazy way. I credit this with my changed attitude of letting things, personalities and people carve out their own path much like a natural mountain creek. It may not have been how I would have done things. Okay...it most certainly wasn't how I would have done it. But things fell into place. I felt more peace this year in a time of incredible change in our economy, world and political system than I have in a long time.

Or maybe I just feel more peaceful in crisis situations. That is highly probable too. Crisis' tend to make people either become incredibly still and efficient or make them crazy. I do tend to be the efficient type. I tend to crumble when things turn peaceful. So who knows, if things turn about soon and start going smoothly I may just have a crazy crumbly year.

I did pull out a fence stile in one place. The relationship there although I care for the person in question was just too much. I think it a good thing to remember from time to time, we do have choices in who we let close to us. That includes those who have traditionally been close. It doesn't do us or them or anyone in the general vicinity any good to continue a relationship that brings nothing but bad feelings. I had struggled with how I "should" behave, forgive, etc. with this person for years. The fact of the matter was I was the one struggling. The other was quite happy causing discord. We need to know that we can be compassionate from afar. And sometimes, no most times this is the greatest gift we can give to difficult people. How will they ever change if they don't know they are being disruptive? Of course they always have the choice not to change. But we can love them, care for them, pray for them, sit in meditation for them without allowing them access to more of us.

So that is what I did this year, it probably contributed to some of the ease I felt.

Don't get me wrong, bringing in stiles is not easy. It's hard work, but for me at least, it was past time.

I read a lot this year, as I usually do. And yet, when I sat down to think of what my favorite read was I couldn't pull a name up. Most of the non-fiction I read saddened me and scared me for human-kind. As a result I took refuge in comforting old favorite writers for my fiction reading. I read a lot of new and revisited Charles de Lint who never ceases to please me in his story-telling.

Musically this year I fell in love with Sxip Shirey who incidentally was introduced by last year's musical love Amanda Palmer who incidentally just married one of my all time favorite writers Neil Gaiman-A very happy ending and I am hopeful that a girl who writes music about pubic hair and plays the ukulele and a man who writes stories about magick and cats and Olde Gods will live happily ever after.

Anyway Sxip with his homemade instruments and small venue concerts dazzled me. How a man with crazy hair and a bell strapped to a megaphone can make such intoxicating music is boggling. Sxip also incidentally introduced Himself to his new favorite band The Carolina Chocolate Drops, who while I don't love everything they do, I love Rhiannon Giddon's incredible voice. She makes arias out of traditional mountain music. They describe their music this way: “Tradition is a guide, not a jailer. We play in an older tradition but we are modern musicians.”-Justin Robinson

I just did a quick review on my ipod and I found the most played songs of late were Amanda Palmer, Sxip Shirey, Old Crow Medicine Show, Zoe Keating and Johnny Thunders. That pretty much covers it. I'm all over the place from early punk to Blue Grass. Although, I do find myself turning to blue grass more often than not, it's soothing.

As far as the Movies that came out this year, I was highly disappointed in everything. I was only compelled to see two movies in the theatre this year, Alice in Wonderland, which all in all was at least entertaining and Harry Potter, which is fun because you get to see the nerd-kids who dress up. I actually spent more time at the local playhouses this year where I was not disappointed. Granted it was during Halloween-time which is my most favorite time of the year. But I find myself wanting to be more a part of the experience and when you go to small venues you get just that.

Ch-ch-ch-changes were put in place in my own life this year. Due to the ideals of some of my writing partners I challenged myself to eat less meat. Mostly I wanted to see if I could make my favorite recipes with meat-less products. I found that a lot of the time I could and while it did not taste the same, it was good in its own way and I lost a lot of my meat-ish cravings. Also an article on the Great Pacific Garbage Patch that I wrote allowed me the opportunity to speak with some marine biologists. While the Garbage patch has little to do with overfishing I picked up an ap from the Monterey Bay Aquarium which tells me which fish are bad to eat and made a commitment to stay away from them. It's a little weird to ask your server where they get their fish and honestly they don't know most of the time so fish were off the menu a lot too. I'd say I'm a 3/4 vegetarian at this point and I don't miss it. Oh the other change came due to Heather telling me cheese has addictive chemicals. I tried that theory too and guess what? It seems to be true. I craved cheese for about a week and after that, no more cheese cravings. Where we used to blow through cheese at House Rhuad it now sits for a very long time, which actually saves us money because I like expensive cheeses (usually).

I am looking at 2011 and while I feel some trepidation, I also am seeing some hope. People are tired of being pushed back and placated like small children. Politicians and leaders of churches and communities don't seem to recognize this. I recently read an article in which a poll showed young people (18-27) were leaving their church congregations not because of lack of faith but because they are tired of gimmicks like rock bands in the services and free t-shirts and study cells. What they are leaving over is a lack of serious spiritual discussion. I find this amazingly encouraging, the fact that people and especially the coming up generation want to dive deeper. The same is true in politics. Yes while a great many people are joining crazy Tea Parties, a lot of people are discussing something entirely different. The party system is not meeting the needs of the constituents. This is good, the discussion of change. Politicians had better take notice and stop believing that once they are elected they don't have to listen to the very people who put them in office, there are plenty of examples of this but the most recent ones are of the many public officials from our President to State Governors and city mayors taking sunny vacations while the eastern seaboard is shut down due to snow and ice. People aren't taking this lackadaisical governing well, and yes we all need vacations however, public servants are public SERVANTS.

I see uprising in the future. Which may look bad but to my way of thinking is a good thing. If President Obama isn't going to help with the change he suggested we need to roll up our sleeves and start working towards it ourselves.

Which leads me to the biggest thing I see for the coming year. I know in House Rhuad we have been talking a lot about change and work. Changing how we see service to others. It's going to be our new hobby this year. The thing we do together. It's necessary because if we as individuals don't do it, who will?

Anyway. That wraps up my fence walking. Holed mended. Some stiles pulled up. A heap more put out, because community is going to be the focus of 2011 at House Rhuad.

Song Saturday- Fairytale of New York

2010-12-24T13:24:00.000-08:00

It's going to be a busy weekend at the House Rhuad. Yes the Solstice celebration has passed. We were extremely bummed to miss the awesome display due to cloud cover but baked and observed just the same. We still celebrate gathering. We have a large and diverse family and truly I see no need to cut out anything except the fat man in red. In my opinion he should not be allowed to replace the lesson that we are the hands that serve.

So I will be off for the weekend....okay, as far as I know, who knows what I'll do I may spend copious amount of time online. That's how I live my life, very few hard rules and plans. It drives people nuts sometimes but they fall in line.

Come by and check out the diverse and incredible offerings of seasonal articles this week at http://www.subversify.com. They will both uplift and make you cynical. Where else can you get that?

I leave you with my absolute favorite Christmas tune. It contains most things I love. Black and White filming, Matt Dillon,The Pogues, Celtic music, a trip to the drunk tank and most importantly the late great Joe Strummer who left us this year. RIP Joe.

Tags: holiday, joe strummer, the pogues, song sat, christmas

Christmas is a Comin' and The Geese are Getting Fat

2010-12-16T14:13:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a' comin' and the geese are getting fat.
Won't you please put a penny in an old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny than a ha'penny will do,
If you haven't got a ha'penny then god bless you.

There are several variations of this song and I think a few more verses. But this is the one I learned as a child and it remains the first song I think of when Christmas time rolls around.

It's brings to mind snow covered buskers and easy comraderie. The idea that we should be giving if we have even a ha'penny. And if we don't we are not alone, people understand and know our struggles and call on the blessings of that which they revere for us.

It's getting harder out there. More people are displaced (read-homeless) and those who aren't are tightening the belt and re-thinking needs and wants in new ways. As much as I abhor commercialism I do celebrate Christmas after a fashion. I love those close to me, I want to be with them in winter's deep. I enjoy sharing time and traditions.

It's also a time when needs are glaringly clear. I cannot ignore it and neither can most people. But sometimes a ha'penny is all I have, like some of you, hell probably many of you. But it is enough, every little small bit is enough.

I have found in my life that the more I give away, the more comes back to me. This does not mean I am always flush when I give money to causes or people. But what it does mean is that I feel good and when I feel good I look for the good. I am blessed.

Part of this blessing is understanding those around me. How could we hope for comraderie if we do not share the burdens of others. And while we speak of ha'pennies let's remember that's symbolic. We have to share other things too, life stories, pain, hope, love, failure, redemption.

To me these are the things this season is about. These are the coins in our pockets, rattling about, waiting to be spent on something. Because coinage whether literal of figuative is valueless until it is spent.

This is what I love about this season, and if you haven't got a ha 'penny then may the god or spiritual light of your understanding bless you.

Top 10 Movie List

2010-11-30T10:50:00.000-08:00

Having blogged nothing in a while I thought I would rise to the challenge of The Late Mitchell Warren and put together my most current top 10 movies. Feel welcome to add your two cents.

First let me say that this was harder than I thought it would be. I found top 5 was easy, so was top 20, top 10 got dicey. So, on the strength of Mitch’s argument for Lion King I went with what movies both influenced me and stuck with me. I also went with what movies I can watch over again more than a handful of times. Oh and I cheated on one…sorry.
No particular order

1. In 1922 Forrest Ackerman saw his first “imagi-film” and he became a super fan. Before dying in 2008 he maintained the largest collection of sci-fi and horror memorabilia in the world. As a young adult I remember hearing that his all time favorite movie was “Metropolis” and lamenting that it hadn’t been re-released in several decades. I vaguely remembered it from watching Saturday Matinee at the Bijou on PBS as a kid but watching it as an adult I could see what he loved in it. It is beautiful. Full of Art Deco imaginings of a future time in which everyone is enslaved and worked below ground for the sky people, it is a very early (1927) Socialist statement. It’s easy to see why it was taken out of rotation in the following era of anti-socialist feelings. Who knows, it will probably be destroyed sometime in the near future given our current leanings. If you have a copy, hold on to it.

2. “Un Chien Andalou”- There are very few movies I can watch over and over and pull something different out of it and this 1928 piece of Dada is one of them. It is intentional, the ambiguity of the script, the Dada-ness allows one to feel and receive whatever they are in the mood or maturity for at the time.

3. If I were to pick a movie based entirely on its soundtrack, and I am, It would be “Repo Man” (1984) However not only does it have my favorite punk-rock driven soundtrack, It was also my very first non-mainstream movie, sending me on a quest for all the Indie deliciousness I could find.

4. Because this task was so hard I tried to look at genres, which is why I chose “Robin Hood”(Disney 1973) I remember this as the first movie I ever went to. I can clearly remember going to what amounted to a drive-in, but was really a walk-up in our little ghost town of Columbia, CA. dangling from the bleachers and memorizing every song. Yes, I know them all to this day.

5. Also along the lines of genres, my favorite Musical to date is “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”. The music is incredible and the story heart wrenching. However everything ends well as it should in a musical

6. We have a long standing disagreement at House Rhuad. Some people here hate Jude Law. They find his hands weirdly small. I was on the fence about him myself until I saw him in “The Wisdom of Crocodiles” (also released as Immortality 1999) which was an excellent portrayal of a Psychopath. I fell in love then and there. He was spot on and I loved and hated his character.

7. Another movie I love that looks into the psyche is “Secretary”. It is also probably the only thing I have ever liked James Spader in. It is not for the kinkiness that I love this move. Okay…not only the kinkiness. I love this movie because it shows so well the torment of people who don’t understand why they want what they do and try so hard in the wrong ways to address it. It also illustrates how embracing parts of you that may be socially unacceptable can set you free for more happiness. This movie is also on my therapeutic movie list.

8. I have to thank my friend Karla for this one. Without her it may have taken me a while longer to come across it. “Boondock Saints” is great good fun, full of everything I love, action, intrigue, comedy, and redemption, spiced up with stereotype. Lovely.

9. No List would be complete for me without “Fight Club”. Not a movie list, not a book list, not a soundtrack list. It is also I think probably the single best book to movie reproduction ever.

10. Okay, here’s where I cheated. All Quentin Tarintino projects. I can’t help it, I cannot choose. I have not been let down yet by something he wrote, directed or heck even lent money to. The guy obviously watched too much T.V. and movies in his lifetime and god bless him for it.

So there it is, I was sad to leave out two of my favorite genres; Horror and Comic Book flicks. I’m a sucker for both. However, when all was said and done those are pure entertainment that is fluid, my favorites in those areas change so easily.

Shockheaded Peter

2010-10-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

New Flash Fiction Prompts

2010-07-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a while but feel free to make use of the prompt. Please post a link back to your work.

When You're Strange: A Film About The Doors (HD Theatrical Trailer)

2010-06-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Why didn't you do your math? Wall Street Journal- New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cu ft. of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that a woodchuck could chuck 700 lbs. daily.

2010-06-09T15:59:00.003-07:00

We didn't do our math because we don't do math, we write.

Ask me anything

I never watched Lost, did I miss much?

2010-06-09T15:59:00.001-07:00

What is this thing called "Lost"? We are tied to our computers and not allowed to watch anything. It's a sweatshop here.

Ask me anything

Ghosts of Abandonment

2010-06-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

Lying beneath a million ghosts

I note the weeds beneath me

So much healthier than the intentional plantings

The hunger of abandoned places...

A phrase I have heard and remembered,

The hunger of abandonment,

It's what feeds the weeds

And makes ghosts of long lost stars

Blog Notes from the Road

2010-03-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'm working from the road this week. The 9-5 breadwinner in my household got a free room in exchange for attending boring conference discussions about paperwork and client service models for public mental health. So as it is in Monterey I packed up my laptop and jumped in the car. Free away from home writing inspiration for me!

My stereo went out last week so we had no music for the trip which worked out okay, we discussed the things tripping through my mind, like global human migration, worldwide responsibility for helping other countries and if we should if they clearly fucked up their own situation...We discussed indie music and my most favorite kind of musician the ones you can't describe, as in he/she plays this or that.

Also on my mind as we travelled were changes in the Monterey bay area. Santa Cruz has grown quite a bit and Monterey itself is filling up with strip malls like anywhere America. The old military base-turned college campus looks like it's tearing stuff down and selling space to Chili's and Bath and Body Works.

Monterey has lost some coastline, there is plastic on the shores in frightening proportions. I watched as a birthday balloon was tossed by a wave to the shore. I wondered where it had come from...what it's sad birthday story was....I always ascribe sad stories to trash at sea, it could have been a happy birthday, I don't know.

I began reflecting on these stomping grounds of Steinbeck which have changed so much just since the last time I was here, he I think wouldn't recognize or even feel comfortable here. Development wars for zoning seem to be being lost, I guess money can buy you whatever you want, at least ski-high hotels and Starbucks on every corner. Even the Hookers are displaced, had initially thought to go and look for where they may have ended up but alas some of my traveling companions necessitate a nixation of that plan.

I'm thinking of a write up, retrospective on Steinbeck, shall visit important Steinbeckian points of interest this week, which I'm sure will thrill the Brownies some of whom came with me, they are only interested in adventure, so I must think hard on how to sell it to them.

In any case This Day is beautiful sunny and warm, couldn't ask for better so off to walk the shores I go.

Oh yes and go check my article this week at http://www.subversify.com which talks about a revisiting of Hurricane Katrina as it relates to Haitian relief and disaster relief in general. Also check out all the other juicy non-status quo stuff up for offer this week.

A Night Walk

2010-03-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

The crack in the sidewalk showed Her life well.

I knelt and ran my forefinger from top to bottom, taking Her offered nectar.

It tasted of earth, leaves, full of smoke and almost a tannin flavour.

Yet bright and fresh.

The Moon almost full to deliverance shined through a break in the clouds.

Radiantly orange and yellow against their whiteness.

Swiftly, they moved across Her.

One shaped like a Roc flew directly over, seeming to linger.

It was an omen.

Good or bad, must wait to see.

An owl had tracked my path in the still of the night.
I could hear it; it's wings soft but audible on the clean cold night.
Good omen this; the gentle whoooo imparting wisdom which my deeper self will recall as needed.

Remembrances of a different owl, so long ago.

I reach the creek swelling slowly from recent rain.
It's cold breath I can feel.

Ophelia Wept.

I can hear her, not for you my attentions this night my sister.

This night,

My Sister,

Sleep softer.

Soon I reach my destination, where warmth and light await.

I slow my step savoring the cold's bite.

I am a creature of the night.

New Blog for the Day

2010-02-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

So an hour and a bent and pulsing shoulder later I think I am starting to figure out this Blogger arena, which is not as complicated as I first figured.

However I do like to just sit down and write so figuring anything is a pain in well...numerous body parts.

You will notice you can now follow me on twitter which is cool if you like random insults mixed with what I feel passes for wisdom for that day, which could be anything from good to horridly bad.

You can also follow Subversify Tweets, which you should as it will keep you updated on our collective wisdom and upcoming articles/events. One of the most exciting of which you will also now find on my blog, Subversive radio, thanks to staff member Astra Navigo for spearheading and making happen. We will soon have inteviews and other spoken word up.

In case you aren't familiar with our E-Zine which is possibly the best in cyberspace it can be found at http://www.subversify.com/ or just follow the myriad links I have on the page.

Enough from me today, I am now going to go figure out how to use my new voice recognition technologie on my phone which is supposed to translate all my ramblings to blogs, so we shall see...

G'Night All.

Sharpen Your Pencils Everyone

2010-01-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

I was in my child's 3rd grade class earlier in the week reading out loud to the children and monsters a book about Unicorns, or more correctly a book about a Unicorn about to be born, which in no way sounds like fun to me especially given the mother of the Unicorn in question is a Horse.

Thankfully the teacher was otherwise occupied and not really paying attention because it gave us all time to talk about what we thought might happen in the case of such a supernatural birth and what exactly it means to be "in foal"...you know important stuff.

I really do not like reading a loud to anyone, it is just a weird quirk I have. Mostly because it distracts me from my own imaginings, so it always surprises me when rapt little faces look at me and beg me to continue. I have been told that I "do voices" of which I am entirely unaware, but it must be because that is how I hear things In my head when I read.

But that is neither here nor there. We finished the prescribed chapter and though we all wanted to go on and learn more about the fearsome owner of the horse, and her kindly young girl caregiver and most importantly the foal, which we secretly talked about maybe more than we should-how did it get in there? -because it would be Unicorn was it magically conceived?- Did the Flaxen cord have anything to do with it?-what exactly is Flax? You know important stuff.

Anyway after reading I was asked to help the kids with their drawings of geometrical shapes, yay, I always love it when kids have to draw things according to prescription...NOT! This is how I found out the rule of the class was you could not under any circumstances sharpen your pencil during class. What the Hell? Really? So if you break your pencil, use it up, or in the case of one child the absent minded teacher steals your pencil you cannot sharpen one because....why? The earth may fall out of rotation?

It is these sort of rules that make me feel like I really should be in class more often. If only to bring in freshly sharpened pencils everyday like a bouquet of flowers. Now I know it can be a distraction that little children and other monsters will use to sharpen their pencils and avoid a task, but really, maybe they need that avoidance minute.

Or maybe they need a really newly sharpened pencil. I was thinking to myself how when I was a child and computers were not yet the norm, a new sharpened pencil made me want to do new things. Somehow I was more excited about math, spelling and yes even geography when I could write beautifully and precisely with a nice sharp point. We all have our thing that makes us feel good and I think maybe some of us should re-think our rules around distraction in order to make others feel good.

So I sharpened pencils in the "NO SHARPENING PENCIL TIME" The teacher after all could not tell me not to, and I think everyone should have something that makes them feel empowered.

I don't know why, but the teacher still looked to me for help on the "GUM ISSUE" after that, (GUM ISSUE=Absolutely no gum at anytime for any reason) Since I have older kids she wanted to have me back her up regarding the "Universal GUM LAW" in school, apparently she thought the kids would quit it if they knew their Miley Cyrus aged cohorts also couldn't chew gum.

So Naturally when she asked me if kids in Jr. High and High School could chew gum I threw her a bone and answered with a quote from one of my favorite Gurus: "Chewing Gum is Really Gross, Chewing Gum I Hate the Most"~Willy Wonka.

I think from the giggles that the quote will work out in her favor. You just gotta know how to relate.

And bring your sharpened pencils.

Writer's Block and This and That

2010-01-07T12:42:00.001-08:00

I had meant to do an end of the year write up, however then I got sidetracked with researching sticky legal issues here as well as an article I am working up for Subversify.com. Unfortunately one of the side-effects of filling my brain up is over-thinking everything and living with an ongoing circular argument in my head, until one side or the other wins out in this argument (figuratively of course, there aren't actual people in my head...usually) I also usually come down with a bad case of writer's block.

While it has consistently been proven to me that curing writer's block requires writing, NO MATTER WHAT, I like someone who wants to lose weight and not exercise and eat cream and butter, persist in dreaming it will go away on its own.

So that is what I have been up to, sitting on my favorite fireside chair gobbling books and making pasta and walking, and reading some more and worrying about my schizophrenic cat (seriously, not just in the normal cat way, he sees thing and attacks his own tail when it gets dark out, does anyone know a cat whisperer or psychic who will work for free, nobody is sleeping at night and he has learned how not to swallow benedryl.) and reading some more.

I will be around for now, But I will also be spending more time away, the 'zine is taking up a lot of time and with people taking off, valuable folks that I want to talk to are now more scattered.

I know I didn't get around to a complete write up of my year, but here is one in brief.

2009 was hard, personally and politically and while not financially for me, that rug was pulled out several years earlier at my house, I did spend a good part of my year teaching others what I had learned as they woke up from their dreams of prosperity.

I fell in Love with Amanda Palmer this year, You can check out her music, performance art and blogs HERE.

My very favorite book of the year is The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson which is really too good for me to give any of it away, trust me on this one and read it. It also lead me to read The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri again and I am working on my second translation of it now just to see what the differences are.

My favorite Movie of the year was Watchmen-in the theatre and my biggest disappointment began early in the year with Benjamin Button which they thoroughly ruined. See my review HERE

As you know all plans for the summer were thrown out when I severed the tendon on my foot. It is all healed up now and I just stopped going to Physical Therapy, which was horrendous at first but I miss now because at the end it was more like having a free exercise trainer. (Shhh, don't tell my insurance agency!) I still can't wear heels though my big toe won't allow me, it gets all cranky and I still have a big knot of undisolvable stitches in there that I have to decide if I want to live with or go back in for them. Having had two surgeries this summer I am not excited about it and probably will put it off as long as they don't bother me. But I am happy to report I am in all other shoes and only slightly afraid to trim the rose bushes.

I did do one trip to the Coast at Thanksgivingtime as always. I was going to write it up but really, it was Ocean, it was sunny we saw lighthouses and played ghost hunters and ate copious amounts of chowder in search of the best bowl.(Which we never found and I ended up having to make.) It was relaxing but there is not a lot to say other that we enjoyed the family.

Clam Chowder Recipe:

5 or 6 biggish potatoes-cleaned coarsely cut and unpeeled

1-2 lbs of fresh clams or 2 cans clams

2 (or to desired consistency) cups of half and half

1 sweet onion

2 Tsp fresh ground pepper

1 Leek

2 Tbsp Olive Oil or Butter ( you decide, I don't know what you like better)

1 lbs of bacon chopped and cooked or 2 lbs of your favorite sausage ( the sausage I just tried as a joke due to an Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode, I used Italian Sweet)

Kosher salt to taste.

In a dutch oven or large soup pot sweat onions and leeks in olive oil or butter with a pinch of salt, when most of the water is out but not yet browning add potatoes and enough water to cover, cook until potatoes are "Irish" (slightly underdone) and add clams, if fresh just cook until done, if canned just warm up.

Drain Potatoes saving stock. Add the Potatoes back into the pan then add everything else and stir together. If not soupy enough for you, first add back a cup of saved stock then a half cup of half and half until you reach desired consistency.

Serve with favorite bread.

Be aware this is the first ever written recipe of this, if it doesn't work out for you too bad, you'll have to come and watch me that's how I learned it. It's also how I learned not to drink too much while you are making it and forget the potatoes, they tend to burn...Burnt things taste bad and you have to start all over. Don't be afraid to make it yours, by adding whatever, if parsley is around, I'll throw that in, If I don't have a leek but I have everything else, I make it without, cooking should be fun.

Oh I did fall in love on that vacation with my second favorite book Wraeththu by Storm Constantine. It is a fat book which in the end gave my arms cramps, but I was delighted with the world created. I should warn you, if you are slightly homophobic in the least it will not set well with you, all of the bad reviews I read had to do with people "not getting" or "not being into" the hermaphroditic love. Which I find strange because hermaphrodites are not strictly male or female but it turns out a lot of men have a hard time with this, if reviews are anything to go by.

In any case the New Year started out well for me and I'm sure with the right mindset will continue to BE, no matter what comes. The top picture by the way was taken from my back yard on New Years Day, which I thought was fitting.

Now I am hoping this fufill's my HAVE TO WRITE for today and my brain block will start moving like a spring ice flow, but less chilly and loud.

The Great Invocation

2009-10-06T16:29:00.001-07:00

The Great Invocation

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A Death Backstage

2009-09-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

The Flash fiction prompt was -My son...my son...my own flesh and blood, What have I done?

I always thought that it was one of my life’s greatest tragedies that the last words I took in while in human form were. “My son...my son...my own flesh and blood. What have I done? ” Followed by the clapping and the lowering of the stage curtain which subsequently caused the end of her life.
I had been standing backstage when a sandbag which was ballast to the curtain broke loose and fell on my head.
All in all dying had been the easiest part. I had spent my life trying to avoid the pain of it, committing horrible acts of inhumanity to avoid it and in the end it had been the easiest thing I had experienced.
What was less easy was being stuck in one place, this wretched theatre for the past 100 years. With that horrid line in my head, I would repeat it outloud from time to time to try to shake it, but I could not.
One may be tempted to think a theatre a grand final stop, not so. Imagine for yourself having to sit through hours of terrible script writing fit only for the drunkards of the old west, only to give way to terrible music practiced by school children for their parents and nowadays the awful styling’s of would be rock bands which often sound like a bunch of whiny boy-men. Men of my time would never have cried about love lost, and certainly not in front of a sellout crowd.
It is the crowds though, that keep me sane somewhat. Brushing up against young love and falling apart marriages alike. Old women coming in to see an off, off, off Broadway production. I like some of those women the best. They still dressed up in their best thinking theatre a treat. Not like the youth in tonight’s crowd.
Tonight I am in my most comfortable spot off stage, close to where I had perished, although not exactly there. It was something superstitious in me that I can’t explain even to myself. The long learned superstitions of a theatre life. You don’t stand where death stood. In any case a young pianist was on stage, having been billed as a performance artist, which usually means that more would somehow be involved than just the piano. There were projectors set up, a complicated light show and amazingly enough circus people. People that would have been recognizable in my own time.
It was the circus people who most interested me, but I am pleasantly surprised that the pianist is actually quite good. I like to be surprised. It was so very hard to keep up enthusiasm day in and night out as a haunt.
I of course was not alone, this night or any other in my haunting. Theatres are both places of danger and intrigue and so there are in my midst an actor from before my time who claims to have built the theatre, but was killed by his business partner. A child who was the son of a whore left at the doorstep one night to die, he being eternally about age three. Also in residence are three elderly ladies who in recent years had been supporters of the arts, and hung about because this was their most beloved place. They generally didn’t mix much being disappointed that there were not more spectral actors putting on plays in the afterlife. They could be found mostly in the box seat during shows, they were a quiet lot. There was a famous gunslinger that had died in an ambush as he spent the evening with a hired lady and a rock musician, nobody who ever made it, who overdosed behind a stack of speakers one night. There was also a roadie who had been stabbed by a jealous girlfriend at another concert.
Sometimes we mingled…how could we not? The days drew out dreadfully. But a lot of the time our different time periods and prejudices got the better of us and we spent time alone. Tonight I found myself with the boy who we had called Seth for lack of any other name holding his hand and explaining to him that the midgets were not children but small adults. He was disappointed. He loved to sit next to children and sometimes if a show was running long enough he would make “friends” with an actor’s child. His favorite time was when children’s theatres would come through; he would follow everyone with an air of excitement unable to decide on which activity to join.
It was not what any of us had expected of the afterlife. But it was a family. If only I could get that stupid line out of my head.

Dost Thou Know Thy Neighbor?

2009-09-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

This question was posed by Soulpancake hit the link to read their article to get a reference point.

This is a subject I have been pondering for some time myself. Let me just say to give reference I live in Northern California, in a college town. It seems that every community/neighborhood has its own rules of engagement. In every home we have moved into we have made effort to get to know those around us. We go and knock on doors to introduce ourselves. Take time to be outside in the front so we can chat up the people passing by on their walks. When new people move in we bake something and take it to them. If we notice something out of the ordinary; say, someone coming home in a cast or with a new baby we make a meal, or do a service like mowing a lawn they can't get to. In some areas it has worked and the neighborhood banded together. Parents would congregate and talk while children played. Toys would be borrowed from front yards without any concern of where they were going because everyone knew where to find them and they would be back. It turns out that these areas where people were most friendly and open to helping and getting to know one another were lower income areas. Places I lived in when I was first married and starting out.

In other areas it doesn't work at all. I have noticed the areas where people haven't been receptive are mostly middle class neighborhoods where people live in look alike houses and there are rules about silly things like what color of paint you can use and what ratio of grass to plants you can have. My thinking is mostly people pick these areas hoping to be left alone. The rules provide structure for them that makes them feel comfortable and safe. Unfortunately one of those rules seems to be no making nice with others. However fortunate or unfortunate for my neighbors I don't follow rules. So they still get cookies and notes of appreciation. I still welcome them when they move in, and offer to help carry boxes when they move out. I decided long ago that my actions won't be dictated by other's responses, and maybe...just maybe my behavior will make a difference in their thinking if not now then later down the line.

So Let me ask the question of all of you. Dost Thou Know Thy Neighbor? Have you tried? What has your experience been? How do you think we can make neighborly congress better? Should we make an effort at all?

Song Saturday~Gran Torino

2009-06-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

Last night I took a look at Gran Torino and was greatly impressed, as I am with most of Clint Eastwood's projects. This particular movie however was so touching as it brought together both two different cultures and two different generations in one very old, grumpy, set in his ways man's story. Walter Kowalski, a crotchety old Pollack ( which made me warm and fuzzy immediately having a crotchety old Pollack in my own family) is almost magically touched by the Hmong family living next door and pulled into the idea that race does not have to be a barrier to humanity, decency and human kindness. This does not mean that Walter leaves behind all his prejudices, it seems he acts charitable in spite of them. Walter is also a deeply flawed man, which he readily acknowledges. He has baggage, and as a man of his era, being a Korean war vet, this is something he feels is natural to do. In his own words to do anything else would be acting like a "pussy". And perhaps he's right. Perhaps to wallow in our own grief and not push on through life is leading to the pussification of America. His strong ideas about manliness and right and wrong don't stop him from doing good in his small realm of influence. They don't stop him from noticing strength and potential in others even the "gooks" next door (his words, not mine) They don't stop him from becoming a positive male roll model to the young man who is sitting on the edge of being good and falling into the path of a gang. A particularly touching scene in the movie in my opinion is when he took the Hmong youth to the barber shop, the bastion of manliness to teach him how to "talk like a man" in America. I won't give too much away.
Many Critics have compared this movie to Eastwood's earlier films like The Unforgiven and The Man With No Name, I would add High Plains Drifter to that list. It has seemingly been a theme throughout Eastwood's career to point out that flawed people still have an opportunity to do good, and indeed they should.
Another point that I took away from this movie was the powerfulness of the older people in our midst. Young people seem to either see them as invisible or un-threatening. Eastwood in this movie tore that idea apart while acknowledging that it was his very "invisibleness" that provided an element of surprise to the "bad guys". We would do well to treat our experienced elders better and look to them for the wisdom they have. Their lives have not been sedate ones no matter their current circumstance. To ignore them is to both miss out on gems and to underestimate their ultimate influence.
All in all a very good movie, I highly recommend if you have not yet seen it. And with that I leave you with a song which Eastwood himself penned to go with the movie:Gran Torino

Band-aids on faces

2009-06-11T16:59:00.000-07:00

So I spent the last four days with a band-aid on my face. Not for any particularly good reason. I had a small-ish owie on my cheek that I kept brushing against and I didn't want to mess with it. So I put a band-aid on it. To my dismay I found I had no small or discreet band-aids but what the hell, I went with the big ones anyway. I had just finished with a stupid toe infection due to a splinter and was taking no chances.

Anyway to my dismay and interest when I went out places like the Dr.'s office and the library nobody asked me what was wrong with me. I mean I had a big assed band-aid going from the top of my nose to the middle of my cheek on my left side. Everyone stared at it while they talked to me...looked at it with consternation....but did not ask me why I had it or how I had hurt myself. It was a little disconcerting, like when people stare at your boobs when they talk to you but try to pretend they aren't.

So me being me, I decided I would wear it for as long as it would take for someone other than people I share the house with to say something. ~In case you're wondering the people I share the house with , hobs, gnomes and teenagers all think nothing of such strangeness, in fact they were wondering if I would like them to shake up more noticeable band-aids to see the effect of neon colors on my face.~Anyway the band-aid would stay just so I could see what people would do.

For three days I went about my normal buisiness, grocery shopping, walking in the park, posting letters, driving people and hobbs around and nothing but curious stares that seemed to say...."I want to ask but look at me, I'm being ever so sensitive to the relatively small band-aide handycap."

On the fourth day a child of 8 asked me what was wrong with my nose. I felt kinda like one of those faerie creatures released from a curse. Finally someone pure of heart and full of kindness noticed me!~Not really, I think she really wanted me to have something grotesque wrong with me that I could share with her so she could go "Ewww." and giggle. I think I disappointed her by revealing my social experiment, as if she of course already knew grown-ups were helplessly stupid and didn't know how to ask questions.

Which is the real problem with us all. If we knew how to ask questions and which questions to ask things would be so much clearer all the time. But we might be disappointed that there isn't anything grotesque behind the band-aide. I think we kinda still want that outcome too.

Thinking without our mouths...or is that about our mouths...either way

2009-06-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

In so many areas of my life there is cross-over that is harmonious. In other areas, not so much. As I strive to bring those discordand places into harmony I have found that my quick tongue is not such a benefit say....when discussing groceries and meal plans with my mate as it is when working on a socially satirical writing piece. I have begun to be more mindful of this and as I do, I find that it is like breaking any other habit, hard at first, my mind worries at all the little snarky things that I can say about tomatoes out of season that are funny yes, but not necessarily helpful. Anyway, I came across a writing by a friend of mine whose mind was on the same path so i am linking to his piece as it is so simply eloquent and sais exactly what I would have said. You can read him here at Dharmadude on the Web

Until then be kind or kinder or kind-ish in your speech patterns today. Stop short, just once or twice and see what happens.

फ्लैश फिक्शन~आईटी वास में शे नीदेद तो गेट आवे फ्रॉम

2009-06-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

Much has been made of my story for good and ill. Mostly ill. It is always surprising to me how someone such as I feeling so insignificant, having such a small part to play in the wheel of life; would engender such speculation. Many men have gotten rich from the legend of me. Many men have died because of my legend. Many more will.
My mother escaped to the new world in search of religious freedom. Although not entirely a Christian or a puritan, she was not entirely anything else either. The desire of her heart was to be left alone. What she came to realize over time was nobody could expect to be left alone, not indefinitely and certainly not in a Puritan community.
My mother mostly followed what people nowdays call ‘The olde religion’ she fed house pixies and gave oblation in spring at what is called by her people Beltaine and in the fall at what they call Samhain. She worked the fields diligently and had children as was required of a mother, whose life giving force comes from the original Mother of Us All. Before I came she had twelve children all of whom lived. I was thirteen.
My mother found her comfort in the sect of Quakers. She was mindful of not standing out with her old fashioned practices, passed down from mother to mother. Quakers allowed however for individual religious expression. While sometimes this confused outsiders, with the dancing and quaking and conversely the silence that some people practiced, it suited my mother who was on her own path anyway.
She married a man named Leeds who was a good and kind man. He never did know or share her secret beliefs. They were to her mind woman’s practices anyway and not something he needed to know.
One Beltaine Eve my mother went out to the woods to give thanks to the Mother in the Mother’s way. It may or may not surprise you but practitioners of the Olde Religion resided in secret all over the colonies. As they came, so too did their deities and house sprits. This Beltaine in 1735 my mother met with chose a man who she could only describe as dark, pleasing and with an air of dangerousness.
Nine months later I was born to her on a stormy night. As her pregnancy had gone the same as ever she had no reason to worry about this one. She also had no worries on her mind regarding her husband as at least four of my siblings were Beltaine babies. However on this stormy night things would turn out differently and all who were present were completely unprepared.
I did not enter the world to coos and awe. My entrance provoked fear and disgust. The midwife and attendants, two of which were my older half sisters, had no experience to prepare them for a human shaped infant who upon entry into this world immediately began shifting forms. I am told to some I appeared to be winged, to others pony-like, to others I appeared somewhat doggish. My mother too was shocked. She was also afraid. She had built up a life for herself in this community. It was fairly clear to her that she had inadvertently coupled with one not quite human; however she clearly could not explain this to others. She knew the whispers would begin, and they did.
As the dumbfounded crowd left leaving her with my sisters, she took them to her and explained to them women’s magic. Things that they would have known in time, but had to be told early because of the occurrence of my birth. What was decided was as it was well past Samhain and another three months until the next time the veil between worlds would be thin, she would nurse and care for me, keeping me covered at all times so as not to attract attention. Her husband would be told I was born deformed and may not live; the reason given would be the number of pregnancies my mother had experienced.
Being not quite human I grew well and strong. Also my mind grew at a different rate. There is much that I remember from this time. My mother’s singing voice. The soft swell of her breast easing my hunger, milk thin, warm and sweet filling my stomach. My sibling’s laughter, filling the family home. The man I assumed at the time was my father, coming home heavy and tired, smelling of pine tar from clearing trees, or wood smoke from making charcoal.
When the next Beltaine did approach my mother did not take part in worshipping, instead she brought me in the dawn to a stream deep within the woods. Taking a deep breath and singing an ancient song she stepped through it and into another world and kept walking. She had entered my true father’s land.
I knew it immediately. Smells were not so much stronger as different, enhanced. I could taste the air. I squirmed in her grasp and became a pup, which she smiled at and put down. I was happy to follow her, but had no control over my forms, changing constantly between horse and child, dog and bird. She was patient and stopped when I became child and either carried me or waited for me to change again.
Eventually we came to what looked like a hunting lodge. My mother rapped thrice and waited. The door itself was thick and old. My dog and horse forms could smell many things on it, sadness, fear, joy, indecision. There was no indecision smell to my mother however. After a while the door opened and "was filled with the body of a huge man. He was dressed in trousers, and his arms were nearly around as some of the trees. He looked as if he could be quite foreboding but his manner and smell were quite kind.
He looked at my mother, and then glanced at me. “I see you have one of ours.” He said.
“Yes,” she answered “although I know not whom is father is, he is Beltaine Bourne”
The man laughed at this. “I know well enough whom he belongs to. And the form changes should have told you too, if you had been properly schooled.”
I could tell my mother was a little embarrassed at this. “I practice singularly my Lord. While I know enough to give The Mother her due, I have not learned all, I doubt if I could even have crossed if it were not the right time and I did not have my son with me.” At this she gave me a squeeze, but not an uncomfortable and stroked my feathers as I was at that point a bird.
“What I do know is I cannot have him with me, not here; in this new land where there are none to give him what he needs.”
The man looked kindly on her. “No you cannot. He will stay here, and I will give him to his father as soon as he returns from the night. He is Phouka and he belongs with us.”
With that he held out his arms. My goodly mother gave me a hug and tucked something into the man’s hands. “If he can, please let him see us sometime and teach him who his human family is so he will know them." With that she turned and strode away. She did not look back. It was not because she did not love, but rather because in order to live in her world, it was me she needed to be away from.
****I forgot to add the explaination of this piece. I have long had it in mind to write a fantasy about The Jersey Devil from his point of view. I actually began it some time ago, but the computer it is on is battery-less right now. So for this piece I began anew. Sometime I will go back, I'm sure it's nothing like the first draft, however the prompt made me think of it.

2009-06-10T17:15:00.001-07:00

This morning a relative of mine sent me a video all about how Christians are declining worldwide due to decreased birth rates and how Muslims are stepping in to fill the gap. The video postulated that in 38 years the entire Euro-Union will be Muslim. I won't be responsible for your viewing of this but if you can't stand it you can view it on you-tube probably under "Muslim statistics."
My first thought was: Holy Crap again with this? And why oh why don't they teach statistical analysis in High School so we could avoid some of this ridiculousness? The thought also came to mind, who the hell cares? I could care less if Europe is mostly Muslim, good for them, they wouldn't even have to knock on doors, just skip a movie and spend a night in once a year.
But then I got to thinking. This is getting bloody minded and out of hand. Here we are 8 years after the Sept 11, terrorist flights and people are still passing around anti-muslim sentiments. Things to scare, to separate...us and them.....
This isn't okay. Scaring Christians into throwing away their birth control in an effort to stay a "Christian" Nation. We have enough to worry about right now without a population bloom.
I am of the opinion that we should always try to treat one another with respect. Not to attack people's religion is to make them feel validated. Validated people are on the path to feeling good and doing good, no matter their beliefs. I also believe that when we see wrong it is possible to point it out without name calling and attacking people's base identity, like race, religion and things they cannot avoid, (ie: cleft palate, knock knees, sexual orientation, mental health, uni-brows, 3rd nipple, hypertrichosis, you get the idea)
There is however the flip side of anti-locution and prejudice. Those who use it to their advantage.
Take for example, Monday's edition of Talk of the Nation wherein they discussed the definition of Anti Semitism. It seems from some of the discussion there is a "New" form of anti-semitism. Scarily, the "New" form encompasses anything you might say about a Jewish person that is negative. One of the examples given was of a professor who sent an email to colleagues and students about the situation in the Gaza, postulating his opinion that it was similar to concentration camps. He was called out by Jewish students ,community members and staff and suffered disciplinary action. What the Hell?? People can't have opinions about policy if it has to do with someone or somewhere that is connected to the sons and daughters of Abraham?
This has been a while coming. Frankly, I think the issue of Abraham throw the race card down way faster than any other race and with such a comfortable flourish that they seem not to even notice. I have a huge problem with this, and I'm sure by the "New" standards it will be anti-semitic, so before I start I want to make it plain that I am not. I do believe the "Old" anti-semitism wherein people accuse "Jews" of being controlling, rich or devious or anything else is unacceptable. Just as I find categorizing anyone by caricature traits and stereotypes unacceptable.
Okay,
How long are we going to hold back what we think about the policies and actions of anyone Jewish just because of this supposed anti-semitism? If we compare the Gaza, and reasonably so to a concentration camp we are being anti-semitic. I find this ludicrous. Every single race on this earth today at sometime or another has been driven from their land of origin. Every race at sometime or another has been subjected to a force wishing their annihilation. Every race has suffered enslavement and every religion has been subject of persecution. Can we get on with it? Yes the Holocaust was awful. But so has been everything else. We share this with one another, this human penchant to be horrible to one another. Do we really need to separate ourselves from each other and say things like "I am owed." because of this or that?
(For those of you with a sarcastic sense of humor go HERE to see The Gang from Always Sunny in Philadelphia address this issue.)
That being said, I have no problem with people strongly believing and fighting for their positions. Just don't call me names because I don't agree. It shows a fundamental lack of understanding of your own beliefs when you fall back on name calling instead of striving to understand one another through discussion and argument.
Now on to another issue in anti-locution. Recently I began noticing some ads being run in prime-time slots on mostly children/family networks asking people to stop using the word Gay. I'm a little perplexed on that one. I'm pretty sure the word Gay was used before Homosexuals took it up as a tag. Also if we can't use the word Gay does that disclude all the other words too? Does that mean Kathy Griffin is going to be out of a job? In all honesty I would like to know what my Gay friends think about this.
Look, Just like the next reasonable person I am happy to call homosexual people by their given or chosen names. What I worry about sometimes is all these commercials and spenducation which tends to result in kids having their minds on the negative side of things more than they would have ordinarily.
And isn't that also a form of anti-locution? You aren't us...you can't use our words. It's the same thing with the big N word, nigger, you aren't us we are different, you can't use our words.
I'm a little concerned that all this attention will ultimately bring about the opposite of the desired effect.
Just some thoughts, feel free to disagree, just don't call me an anti-whatever

New List Topper of Sports I Hate

2008-05-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

I decided a long time ago that I hated golf. There are so many reasons to boycott it not the least of which being the name: Gentleman Only Ladies Forbidden. There is the elitist aspect of it, you pretty much have to belong to some sort of club and pay an incredible amount of money to use the greens in the United States, then there is all the expensive equiptment necessary to buy, clubs, drivers, clothes, shoes. But the reason I hated golf the most was the enourmous waste. Golf was born in a country of green grass, and that is fine. But here in the United States we spend an incredible amount of money making dry places green so we can hit a ball around without being subjected to those "undesireables" In addition we dump a ton of chemicals onto the courses to both keep the grass green and keep the weeds out. These chemicals end up in our ground water and creeks and rivers. Golf courses had always seemed to me like a huge waste. With that amount of money, land and care we could house all our homeless and still have parkland left over. Yeah, you would have to give up your putting ways but wouldn't you feel better knowing you actually helped somebody?
But I changed my mind a little bit after reading the April 14th edition of Newsweek. It seems that some people have been thinking along the same lines as me and intend to make fairways well.. Greener.
in Springfield, N.J. Golf courses are infamous for high use of pesticides and water. But Baltusrol is one of 516 U.S. courses (4 percent of the nation's total) that are certified by Audubon International as Audubon sanctuaries. "It takes one to three years to go through the process," says Joellen Zeh, manager of the Audubon Cooperative Sanctuary Program. Courses convert an average of 22 acres of turf grass into wildlife habitat along out-of-play and shoreline areas. "That's 22 acres that don't need to be watered, irrigated, fertilized or mowed on a daily or weekly basis," she says. A survey a few years ago found that 82 percent of sanctuary courses reduced their pesticide use, and when they did have to spray, 92 percent used gentler chemicals. At the same time, 99 percent of managers said playing quality was maintained or improved. ( for the complete article go to http://www.newsweek.com/id/130625)
Now that sounds good to me, at least better. So I got to thinking what sport can I turn my angst on now. Then it came to me...NASCAR!!
With all the problems we are having with global warming and fuel shortages, why is it that NASCAR is America's favorite passtime, with ticket sales surpassing baseball and football combined? Why is it when we talk about fuel efficiency we never hear about Nascar and maybe....G-d forbid toning it down a bit.
The average stock car gets between 4-6 mpg, let's assume 5 mpg per gallon for calculating purposes-- most of the races are 500 miles, there are a few that are 400 and a few that are 600, but we will again for calculating purposes say an average of 500 miles. That would be 100 gallons per car, 43 cars in each race, and 36 races per year... that gives you 154,800 gallons per year total. These numbers would only include NASCAR Sprint Cup and only fuel used during the actual race. This would not include practice, qualifying, testing, or the other levels of NASCAR -- Nationwide which was once the Busch Series, NASCAR Craftsman Trucks, and the many levels below that on your local short tracks. But here's the thing, they don't pay for their gas. Under Sunoco's deal with NASCAR, teams are provided free fuel at any sanctioned test, practice or race for all three top divisionsA company spokeswoman said it's impossible to determine just how much fuel is used per weekend because of fluctuations in schedules, weather and the teams' practice times each week. A typical team burns up a 55 gallon oil drum for every test, that's a lot of oil folks and right now oil is $133 per barrel (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12400801/)
side note: Fuel isn't free outside of NASCAR, and as high as the ARCA level, teams are paying for gas to get to the track and once they get there.
Many people feel that with the world feeling the crunch of fuel increases NASCAR should be thinking about ways to save, but NASCAR has no current plans to shorten races, as it did in the early 1970s when OPEC hoarded oil to increase prices, causing long lines at the pumps.
So since they are both irresponsible with their fuel usage and enviromental pollution and unwilling to join the rest of us in cutting back or even considering shortening races, this is my new most hated sport. (Plus, it's just really stupid to watch cars go around in circles-My two cents)

2008-05-18T11:51:00.000-07:00